Quandaries
by tiramisuspice
Summary: Not all relationships ended in happy endings.


**A/N: THIS IS LOVE AND WAR CHAPTER "70"  
**

 **I have cramps in my wrists thanks to typing this thing. These monster oneshots are starting to get very painful to write lol. Might have to take a break from them for a bit. (She says while she's already planning her next one) I'm wiped after this. No updates until 2016, lol which isn't saying much because that's tomorrow lol...  
**

 **See you guys in 2016! Love you all! :3  
**

 **Like all other long oneshots, would have gone in Love And War, but it got way too long, started really bad, and got progressively more and more sloppy and word vomit-y as my brain progressively continued to shut down from fatigue lol. Anyway, as usual, published separately. (I actually kind of hate this oneshot. Probably the worst thing I've written to date. I got lazy ._. Welp) I'm going to revise this again at some point and probably rewrite a couple parts too.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own GMW, because if I did, ANGST would run rampant throughout the show.**

 **UPDATE 01.11.16:** **Officially revised! Sorry about the mistakes.**

* * *

 **Title: Quandaries  
Pairings&Characters: Lucaya, Dark!Maya, wtf!Lucas, et al,** **OCs**  
 **Genre: Romance,** ** **Angst,** Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, WAFF/Fluff, CHEEEEEEESE, Drama, Humor, AU ****  
Rating: T for Troubles In A Relationship Through Time (Nothing super intense, except for like one slightly Borderline M part lol)  
Summary: A relationship has its ups and downs. Lucas and Maya had plenty of them.  
**

 **Ready?**

 **Request by Guest for a Lucaya first kiss story. I hope it's decent enough for what you wanted. Thank you for your request! :3  
**

 **Request by define-minkii for Lucas embarrassing himself and spilling water on himself because of Maya. Thank you for letting me use this embarrassing scenario! I appreciate it! And thank you for the request! :)  
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 **Request by Guest for Maya being ticklish. It isn't a particularly huge aspect of this story, but it does show up! Thank you for your request, love! :D  
**

 **Request by Famia for Badass!Lucas punching a guy for cheating on Maya or hitting on her. It happens on multiple occasions. Thank you for your requests, chérie! xD  
**

 **Request by Guest for Maya getting hurt with Lucaya not established and Maya getting hurt with Lucaya established.** **Not sure if this was quite what you were asking for when you said "hurt" (I interpreted hurt a little loosely), buuuut I tried! Thank you for your requests! ;P  
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 **Request by juiceboxxes for anything with Brandon in it. Done and done, love. Thank you for your request! xP  
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 **Request by DreamsForSale for a Lucaya proposal. Not exactly what you might have had in mind, but it's there. Thank you for your request! ;)  
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 **Request by Mskyla123 for Lucas cheating on Maya. I had my own spin with this, I hope you don't mind. Thank you for the request, love! :D:D:D  
**

 **Request by guest for Columbia Cutie proposing to Maya and then they get married. Not quite the same scenario or background for the story, but it works nonetheless, since there was another proposal request. Again, not quite what you probably had in mind lol, buuuut it's there. Thank you for your request! x)  
**

 **Request by AustralianGirl for a Lucaya childhood best friends story with the lines "I'll have my Shortstack right next to me." and "Oh Hopalong. I picture me being in jail." And then growing up and remembering the past times. I only used some of the prompt (as I am prone to do) and tweaked the lines, but if you don't like the execution, feel free to request it again and I'll tackle it later! Thank you for your request! ;3  
**

 **Request by SmoothieSam for a one shot about Lucaya where they reconnect at their ten year high school reunion. I interpreted "reconnect" very loosely lol so it might not be what you expected. Thank you for your request, love! ;D  
**

 **Request by neverthecanonOTP for Maya's important locket getting stolen by an asshole and Lucas getting it back by fighting which leads Maya to reprimand him while fixing wounds and then... *waggles eyebrows suggestively* Thank you for your request! :P  
**

 **Request by omgphelicia for Lucas carrying Maya with one hand somewhere on her body which turns him on. Not exactly what you might be expecting, but it follows the general mold of your request in some way? Thank you for your request,** ** **chérie**! ;]  
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 **Request by Ali for something with the feels that makes you feel like squealing and the feeling in your stomach and you just can't because THE FEELS! Lol, I interpreted it as fluff. You also wanted it preferably happy. Lol, of course, but not without angst. And this story is angst. Thank you for your request! x3**

 **Request by friarhart from tumblr for Popular!Lucas and Rebel!Maya where she doesn't want anyone to know [they're dating] because it'll ruin her reputation. S** **hortstackxx let me know you had this request. Sorry about it taking so long! But here you are! Thank you for the request, love! :]  
**

 **Request by mayaslucas from tumblr for an AU where Lucaya are in high school and secretly dating but the popular one won't come out because of their rep. S** **hortstackxx also informed me of this request.** **It's a little subverted from what you expected, but still follows the desire for angst in the trope. Thank you for the request! XDD  
**

 **Request by Guest for a fic where Riley and Maya don't start out as friends, but become friends later. Here you are! Thank your for your request! :)))  
**

 **Phewww... Lol I'd like to think I maybe mixed them all fairly well? Though this is cringe worthy. Lol, they can't all be somewhat decent. I tried.  
**

* * *

It wasn't possible.

Not Lucas.

It couldn't be Lucas.

It couldn't be Lucas sitting at an outdoor table of a café across from some brunette wearing glasses, holding hands with her and leaning flirtatiously towards each other at their table.

But it _was_ him.

She could recognize that tousled boyish hair and that heart stopping smile anywhere.

"Please tell me I'm imagining this…" Maya whispered, her heart having stopped as she watched the two of them converse. "Riley. Please, _please_ tell me I'm imagining this."

Riley took her hand and squeezed it. "Maya…"

Even Riley couldn't deny it. Maya felt her eyes sting with tears as her throat tightened dangerously.

She couldn't believe it. After all they'd been through, after all they'd had to go through to get to where they were now. How could he do that type of shit to her?

They'd known each other for life.

She'd entrusted him with her heart.

And he'd crushed it in one afternoon, sitting there holding hands with some harlot in a café.

"Riley… What do you see across the street?" Maya sked quietly, her voice shaking.

She couldn't take her eyes off of it. It was wrecking her with each second that passed, but she couldn't turn away.

"I see Lucas with another woman holding hands." Riley said, sounding ashamed, as if she wished she wasn't seeing the same thing.

Maya shook her head slowly. She closed her eyes momentarily, hoping that perhaps it was a lie. But when she opened them, she was still met with the same image. She took in a deep, shuddering breath and wrenched her hand out of Riley's, spinning on her heel and taking off back inside the park and back the way they'd come.

"Maya! Wait!" Riley called out behind her.

But Maya was gone.

She couldn't stay there and see that.

She couldn't.

* * *

 _Maya pouted, crossing her arms petulantly across her chest as she leaned against the outside wall of her first grade classroom._

 _It wasn't fair._

 _She had gotten time out and was supposed to stand outside of her classroom just because she had pinched one of the girls in her class for laughing at her for not having a daddy. Why didn't Susie get in trouble? She had been making fun of her._

 _Her afternoon recess was taken away and she had to stand out in the hallway until the principal called her mommy. Maya didn't care though. Her mommy wouldn't let her get in trouble when the other girl started it. Besides. Her daddy wasn't gone. He just went on a business trip. He was going to come back soon._

 _The doors of another classroom opened and a small blonde boy came out, going over to the water fountain next to Maya to fill his water bottle. He blinked at her in slight confusion, staring at her silently as he pushed the water button._

 _"What are you looking at?" she snapped, giving him her most ferocious growl._

 _"N-nothing!" he yelped in fright, sniffling and pulling in the snot dripping from his nose._

 _He went back to looking at her after a few seconds though, a slightly dazed look on his face as he gawked at her with wide green eyes. She wrinkled her nose in disgust, leaning away from him. The boys at the school were so slimy and crummy and gross. And this stupid boy was no exception._

 _"Stop looking at me!" Maya stomped her foot on the ground. "Leave me alone!"_

 _"Sorry!"_

 _But he was still staring at her with that dumb look on his face, like he'd never seen someone like her before._

 _She didn't like it._

 _"Listen bub. Stop looking at me, or I'm gonna pummel you!"_

 _He was smaller than her. She hoped he would be intimidated by their size difference and stop looking at her all starry eyed._

 _And then his water bottle overfilled and the water spilled out all over his hand and over the edge of the fountain, splashing the front of his pants. He immediately let go of the button, jumping backwards with a slight yelp. There was water all over the front of his pants. It looked like he had peed in his pants._

 _Before she could even think to contain it, Maya snickered, even though she knew she shouldn't._

 _His face fell, his cheeks burning really red, and he sniffled again, the snot trailing out of his nose disappearing back into his nose, and Maya cringed in disgust. Why was he so yucky?_

 _"You don't have to laugh, you meanie."_

 _He looked like he was about to cry as he stared down at his pants._

 _But Maya didn't care. No one called her a meanie._

 _She walked over to him and stomped on his toes angrily. He cried out and immediately crouched, holding his foot as his eyes watered with tears._

 _"I'm not a meanie!" Maya yelled._

 _He looked up, snot covering his mouth and tears running down his cheeks._

 _"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!"_

 _He sniffled, whimpering with a sob, his head bowed and suddenly, Maya felt bad. He wasn't even trying to fight back. She thought he was going to try to beat her up like Ricky and some of the other stupid boys. Maya sighed and stooped in front of him so they were eye level. He stared at her, a slight fear in his eyes, and Maya knew she'd gone too far._

 _"Okay… I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you cry."_

 _"You mean it?"_

 _"Yeah…"_

 _She patted the top of his head like a dog, and he frowned in confusion._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _"I don't know, but I always see my mommy do that to the neighbour's dog, and he seems to like it." She felt like she had an obligation to make him smile now since she'd made him cry. "What's your name?"_

 _"Lucas."_

 _"I'm Maya. And from this day forward, you're my dog, Lucas."_

 _"Why am I a dog?"_

 _"Duh. Man's best friend."_

 _"…So I'm your best friend?" He tilted his head curiously._

 _"Yeah. You're my best friend from now on."_

 _And then he beamed, flashing a toothy grin missing front teeth._

 _"Okay!"_

* * *

"Maya, where are you going?" Riley asked, reaching out and grabbing her wrist before she could run further into the park.

"Home! Somewhere! _Anywhere_!" Maya shouted, fighting Riley with everything she had. "I don't give a fuck! I just need to be away from here!"

"Maya, you're not in a good state of mind to be alone right now."

"Riley, shut up and let go of me!" Maya spun around, knowing her eyes were threatening to well with tears, but she refused to let them come. "Let go of me…"

She would not cry. She would not.

Especially not over Lucas doing this to her.

"Maya." Riley crooned, tugging her over to a bench nearby and sitting her down next to her. "Just sit here for a bit. Let's talk about this."

"How could he do this to me?" Maya muttered angrily, fisting the fabric of her dress. "After everything we've been through. After everything our relationship was. The worst part is he's been distant and calling a lot of other people recently. People who I now suspect were other girls. I can't believe I missed all the signs."

"You don't know that."

"The evidence speaks for itself, doesn't it? He had a history of sleeping with a lot of women before we got together. _Twice_. This isn't outside his realm of behaviour." Maya snapped, glowering at Riley. She knew lashing out at Riley was wrong, but she was furious and she needed something to exert her frustrations towards. "But I thought he changed. I don't know. I don't want to believe he would cheat on me but…"

"Maya…" Riley gave her a sympathetic look. "But you said so yourself. He changed. This isn't like Lucas. He loves you so much. He would never."

Maya shook her head dejectedly.

"I don't know what to think…"

* * *

 _Lucas became Maya's best friend._

 _Maya meant what she had said. She sought Lucas out everywhere, forced him to play with her outside, and made sure they stuck together no matter what because that's what best friends did. Sometimes, he seemed a little scared of her, especially when she would make him eat grass when they played house since he was usually the dog.  
_

 _But their constant companionship developed a strong friendship as the years continued. A sturdy friendship built on mutual understanding, respect, and trust._

 _It got to the point where their mothers were well acquainted because they were always at each other's places playing after school or working on homework together. And since Maya's mother was usually busy working, Maya stayed over for dinner at the Friars' more often than not._

 _They had multiple sleepovers on the weekends, prank calling classmates they didn't like and creating forts and tents in the living room. They made up secret languages and nicknames for each other. At the Hart residence, they pigged out on ice cream and sugary treats, running up and down the hallways and staying up way past their bedtime though there weren't any games. At the Friar residence, they played a lot of video games and there were many toys, though they had to eat granola and fruit and broccoli and other yucky things. So they balanced both places and tried to split their time at each other's homes evenly during the week to get the best of both worlds._

 _As elementary school continued, adults made comments that they were basically married._

 _And technically, they were._

 _They'd made a life commitment to each other and gotten married under the large oak tree in the playground of the lower field with classmates as witnesses on the grass around them. Or at least tried to. One of the teacher's had broken it up before they could finalize their marriage with a kiss and had given them both time outs for inappropriate behaviour. Lucas cried, and Maya cheered him up by drawing pictures of that teacher in the mud as a hot dog._

 _It was always Lucas and Maya._

 _People rarely found one without the other. And when they weren't put in the same class in second grade, they showed up to each other's classes anyway, taking other students' desks or just coming out of nowhere at the most random of times. The school got the memo and for the rest of their elementary school career, they were always put in the same class._

 _Maya's mother was very fond of their friendship, especially since up to that point, Maya had been something of a loner. Since she couldn't be there for Maya often, she was glad Maya had found someone to spend time with. She was frequently talking about how amazing it was that they were so close when they were just so different in terms of personality._

 _Lucas was sensible though he cried a lot and was terrified of a lot of things. Maya was brash and loud, fiercely protective and constantly got in trouble. He was interested in sports while Maya had always been more musically and artistically inclined. Lucas had always been on the smaller side though, so it annoyed Maya when Lucas suddenly hit a growth spurt in the fourth grade, growing steadily taller than her. It annoyed her even more when she_ stopped _growing. Even more annoying was when he took to calling her a short little stack of pancakes. Maya would never be taller than him again._

 _Neither had fathers active in their lives—Maya's had deserted them; Lucas' was military and passed away when he was about two—so in a way they were parents to each other as well, supporting each other as the only students in their class whose households were single parent. None of the others really understood what it was like to truly miss a parent._

 _But even though they were growing up together, they weren't growing up the same. For most best friends, the longer they spent time with each other, the more alike they grew as time went on and the more similar mannerisms they picked up. Maya and Lucas seemed to become more different with each passing day. They learned from each other and become better people, but the staunch differences in their personalities was always easily noticeable._

 _Lucas became more confident and grew out of his habit of crying over every small thing when Maya fell off the monkey bars at a public park, broke her ankle, and couldn't walk on her own two feet. He gave her a piggyback ride all the way back to her home and refused to let go of her hand while she cried to her mother over the pain._

 _And Maya stopped being so standoffish and behaving like she was a lone wolf who didn't care about anyone. She developed more compassion and care for other people when Lucas passed out from a pretty bad concussion playing baseball. Maya rode in the ambulance with him, holding his hand the entire time so he'd have a familiar face to wake up to when he kept drifting in and out of consciousness._

 _They needed each other. Lucas was her best friend. Maya was his._

 _And everyone knew it._

* * *

Riley pulled Maya into her arms, rubbing her back gently as she laid her head on her shoulder, fighting her impending tears.

"That long, huh?"

"We even made a stupid friendship promise," Maya said, clutching the rusted golden locket around her neck in her hand. "We promised to always stay friends no matter what."

Promised to be with each other no matter what.

* * *

 _They'd remained best friends all through junior high._

 _It always amazed Maya that in the face of all these middle school friendships turning into romances or attempts at two day relationships—or one week if they were particularly ambitious tweens—she and Lucas never fell to that pressure, though everyone kept teasing them and pressuring them to date since they were so close. Even teachers tried to play that game, making them partners for every project and assignment and no doubt having a betting pool to see how long it would take for them to "consummate" their relationship so to speak and try one of those quick fire, easily burning out junior high relationships._

 _But they never succumbed to such trends._

 _Sometimes, Maya wondered if their relationship had transcended something. If deep down they knew they didn't want to be in a relationship yet because they were possibly waiting for something more substantial between them in the future.  
_

 _It was strange and hard to explain. She'd been with Lucas for so many years, but there were times when she felt they were_ just _getting to know each other for the first time. There were things she was finally noticing that she used to disregard, like how green his eyes were and how tall he was and how cute his smile was sometimes. He was starting to actually look like a boy to her, though she refused to think about the implications of said feeling as the years went on._

 _Certain times, things felt entirely different than how they used to be between them. There were times when Lucas would stare at her with his too green eyes for way too damn long and she'd feel her stomach flutter and her heart flip in her chest. Times when their fingers would lace together when they were chilling on her bed and watching a movie. Times when their hugs would linger but neither would attempt to move. At times like those, a stray thought would pass through Maya's mind._

 _"This is the guy I'm going to marry."_

 _A thought that would come few and far between, but each time would rattle Maya's mind and make her blast music in her ears to try to drive out the utterly inappropriate thought. Sometimes, Maya wondered if Lucas was thinking the same thing when his gaze would linger on her while they played video games at his house and she kicked major ass. He'd get this look on his face, like he was seeing her in a different light._

 _Regardless, for the three years of junior high, nothing ever changed between them. And honestly, Maya wasn't sure if she was disappointed or not, though she did know that high school could change things. Above her possible romantic tensions with Lucas, she was worried about their friendship. She'd heard stories from her mother and Lucas' aunts and uncles about losing touch with best friends as high school passed. The new friends they would make; the old ones that would become faded memories._

 _Maya didn't want that. She couldn't lose Lucas. Even though the intensity of her fears reflected a possibility of romantic feelings, overall, she didn't want to lose a constant in her life that had been a major factor in the way she'd grown as a person._

 _And clearly neither did Lucas._

 _The day before they were to start high school, Lucas suddenly showed up at her window, a shit eating grin on his face as he climbed in. It never ceased to amuse Maya how year after year, it became harder for Lucas to go through her window. Her window had been a bit jammed for as long as she could remember and couldn't open any wider than she had it. Thus, Lucas really had to contort in order to get in and out of her room. She didn't know how he would keep that up in the future, especially since he kept growing._

 _She took her headphones out of her ear when he plopped on her bed and gestured for her to come over._

 _"What do you want, Huckleberry?" she asked, standing from her desk and dragging her feet over to her bed._

 _"Nothing, Shortstack. Only got you the greatest present in the world," he said smugly._

 _She frowned, giving him a weird look. They didn't really do presents._

 _"We're starting high school tomorrow. I know you're a little worried about the way things will change and I know you're scared that we'll fall apart." He smiled a bit sheepishly as he pulled something out of his pocket and set it in her hand. "So I figured out a solution."_

 _Maya stared at it, her brows high on her forehead as a slow smile spread across her face._

 _"You got me a locket?"_

 _It was beautiful. Gold with a faux diamond encrusted edge in the shape of a heart. It didn't look particularly cheap either. It made Maya wonder how much of his allowance he'd saved and for how long he'd saved allowances to afford the locket._

 _"I know you've always wanted one to put family in. Open it." Lucas said. Maya obliged, opening it and trying to contain her excitement by chewing on her lower lip to hide her smile. There were small pictures on each side of the locket. It was them as little first graders, Lucas with his missing teeth and snot, and Maya with the choppy bangs she'd tried to give herself. "You're my family. And anytime you forget, you'll have this so that you'll always know I'll be there. Even when I'm off doing my own thing."_

 _"You dork…" Maya muttered, lightly tracing the pictures with her fingers. It was such a throwback to her childhood. Like seeing another part of her life. "You just had to use the worst pictures of us to ever exist."_

 _"You're welcome to change it anytime you want." Lucas shrugged with a small smile, watching her as she turned it to and fro to watch as it sparkled in the light._

 _Maya smiled, meeting his gaze. "I love it, Lucas. And you're my family too. I wouldn't change it for the world."_

 _She decided to keep the part where she didn't mean he was her family as a brother to herself. She didn't know quite what Lucas as her "family" meant, but one thing she did know was that she had no sibling feelings towards Lucas._

 _"Promise me we'll always be best friends. Even years from now, no matter where we are."_

 _"I promise, Maya."_

 _"That doesn't count. I'm going to need a more substantial promise if you want me to believe you."_

 _"Alright." He quirked a brow._

 _Lucas got off her bed and bent down on one knee in front of her. She folded her lips in between her teeth to try to keep from laughing at his antics. He was honestly such a dork._

 _"Why am I friends with you…"_

 _"Maya Penelope Hart. I never want us to lose what we have. Will you forever be my best friend?" Lucas said dramatically. "I want to have my lovely Shortstack right next to me years from now. Forever and always."_

 _"My darling Hopalong. I picture me being in jail years from now." Maya fake gushed, fanning herself and pretending to be emotional. "But yes. I'll be your best friend for life."_

 _"You've just made me the happiest man on earth."_

 _Lucas took the locket from Maya's hand and sat next to her on the bed as she turned her back to him, holding her hair up so he could put it on her. He wrapped the chain around her neck and then clipped it before letting it go to rest against her chest. Maya loosely held it, her smile growing, happy that she had finally gotten a locket of her own. She turned back around and wrapped her arms around Lucas, squeezing him tightly._

 _"Thank you," she murmured into his shoulder. He rubbed her back, chuckling softly. "It means the world to me."_

 _They stayed that way for a while, wrapped in each other's embrace. It was comfortable in his arms. Warm. She really hoped things wouldn't change after this. She would definitely miss Lucas' hugs the most if their friendship crumbled._

 _Maya pulled away with a smile. "How does it look?"_

 _"…Beautiful." Lucas responded, an indecipherable expression on his face._

 _He wasn't looking at the locket._

 _Maya fought the blush that was threatening to force its way onto her cheeks, opting instead for lighthearted joking around to hide how flustered she was starting to feel with Lucas' gaze trained on her so intensely in that way that had been making her heart beat much faster for a while now._

 _"Well, we're officially married as best friends," Maya said, craftily changing the subject. "We need to seal the deal somehow."_

 _"How?" he asked, looking a little anxious._

 _It brought a smile to Maya's lips. No matter how much more confident Lucas had become over the years from his growth spurts and apparent princely good looks, it was nice to see he was still that slightly nervous kid that she had always known. Clearly, he still got a little nervous around her because Maya tended to scare him with her wild ideas and behaviour._

 _But he had good reason._

 _Maya's idea wasn't particularly "friendly"._

 _They'd had three years of resisting anything between them, Maya even going so far as to completely deny anything was happening between them at times. She couldn't help but wonder, why not do something spontaneous with each other that she knew they were curious about. Come high school, she had no doubt they'd both be dating a lot of people. When would she ever get this opportunity again?_

 _"A kiss. We kiss each other. Just like they do in the weddings."_

 _"Whoa. Wait. That's a little extreme. I don't know if that's such a good idea."_

 _Lucas looked absolutely terrified, his brows high on his forehead and a subtle deep trepidation in his eyes that made Maya wonder what exactly this fear he was projecting was because it seemed quite a bit too strong to only be about the kiss she had suggested._

 _"I'm offended," Maya said. "You don't want to kiss me?"_

 _He opened his mouth. And then shut it, swallowing a little tightly and looking a bit flustered. Seriously, there was a light blush on his cheeks as he stared at her._

 _"Lucas. Relax." Maya snorted at the expression on his face. "We're best friends. Married best friends at that. It's not a big deal if we kiss each other."_

 _He nodded slowly, though the trepidation was still in his gaze._

 _"Alright. If you're okay with it."_

 _"I am. So just pucker up and lay one on me, Huckleberry."_

 _"Fine."_

 _Lucas reached out and cupped her cheek before he leaned in, his gaze lingering on her lips. His gaze darkened as he got closer. And suddenly, Maya started to feel that same anxiousness when he shifted closer to her, his lips steadily approaching hers._

 _"W-wait…" Maya said, inhaling sharply, her heart racing in her chest. "This is a bad idea. Have you ever even kissed anyone before?"_

 _"No. Neither have you." He looked amused. "What did I tell you? Bad idea."_

 _But he didn't move back. And he was still looking at her lips, his head partially tilted sideways. He looked like he was honestly contemplating closing the gap between them. Maya could feel the light tufts of his breath against her lips as he gently caressed her cheeks and swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly as she tried not to let her apprehension leak all over the place._

 _"Lucas…"_

 _"I know you're scared, Maya," he said softly, finally glancing up and meeting her gaze. The warmth she saw in his eyes made her stomach flip in her body. "It's okay. It's just me."_

 _"How are you not scared?"_

 _"I am scared. I'm about to piss my pants, to be honest."_

 _Maya chuckled. "Dork…"_

 _He smiled, and they watched each other silently for a few moments, something electric and restless buzzing in the air between them as they searched each other's eyes looking for what, Maya didn't know. But she knew that they probably had seen the same thing reflected in each other's eyes because she felt them both relax at the same time._

 _Maya wasn't sure who moved first, but one second, they were sitting there gazing at each other and the next, their lips were pressed against each other's, moving slowly with each other's, heat dancing through Maya's body as her eyes fluttered closed. Her hand reached up of its own volition, sliding behind his head and gently tangling in his hair._

 _Maya knew she was feeling some crazy sparks. And she knew Lucas was feeling them too._

 _Something strange was happening to them. Something strange and utterly profound and only a confirmation to Maya that they might have transcended just friendship long ago._

 _They broke away from each other slowly, their eyes blinking open in a slight daze. Maya licked her lips, trying to ignore the fact that she felt like there was fire dancing through her veins. She could kind of understand why kissing and romance was an addiction that their old junior high classmates had been obsessed with. With the right person, it was amazing._

 _"…So this is our seal to always remain friends, yeah?" Maya said, breaking the silence, only because she knew if she didn't, she would be tempted to kiss Lucas again._

 _And that kiss would definitely have a completely different meaning. If they kissed again, they would be forced to call into question the actual nature of their relationship. And Maya wasn't ready to think about that yet._

 _"Okay." Lucas let go of her face and pulled back completely with a smile. "Yeah."_

 _"If you break it, you owe me a jelly doughnut."_

 _"Yeah, yeah." Lucas rolled his eyes in amusement. "Anyway, my mom expects me home for dinner soon. I have to go."_

 _He stood up and stretched before heading back to her window to leave. After he had climbed out, he poked his head inside and grinned._

 _"See you at our first day of school tomorrow?"_

 _"If I wake up at all, Sundance."_

 _Lucas chuckled and disappeared out the window and down the fire escape, and Maya sat in place for a few seconds, wondering if that had really just happened. She'd entertained the idea of kissing Lucas since she was young, especially when they tried to get married on the playground that one time, but she'd never actually followed through with any attempts until now. And the scariest part was it had been everything she'd dreamt of and more._

 _Maya stood up and left her room, heading to the kitchen and humming under her breath, feeling particularly chipper that she'd gotten to be Lucas' first kiss and that he was hers. Her mother was at the stove mixing something in a pot when Maya walked in, a slight bounce to her step. It only took Katy a second of watching Maya move around in the kitchen before her face settled into a very amused look._

 _"Lucas already went home?"_

 _Maya nodded. "His mom wanted him home for dinner today."_

 _She never could figure out how her mother seemed to always know when Lucas came over to hang out in her room even though he hadn't made his presence know. It must have been mother's intuition._

 _"What happened?"_

 _"What? Nothing happened."_

 _"Then why are you blushing so hard?" Katy chuckled, adding some salt to the broth._

 _Maya nearly dropped the chips she'd gotten from the pantry, going still for a few seconds before she caught herself and tried to act like she hadn't just had a mental freeze._

 _"I'm not blushing," she said indignantly._

 _"You guys kissed, didn't you?" Katy teased playfully. "You so kissed!"_

 _"No we didn't!"_

 _"Maya and Lucas sitting in a tree—"_

 _"Stop being so lame, Mom!" Maya could feel the heat burning on her neck and ears._

 _How the hell did her mother know?_

 _"All I'm saying is there are some friends meant to stay just friends. But there are others meant to be more."_

 _"Lucas and I are_ just _friends. And we're staying friends. Some kisses aren't romantic."_

 _"So you guys did kiss, then," Katy said smugly. "Gotcha."_

 _Maya snatched up the chips and stormed back to her room with a very flushed faced to Katy's laughter trailing behind her._

 _But once she sat down on her bed, it hit her. Not a minute before hand, in that very spot, she'd kissed Lucas. She didn't know what it meant, but she did know she had liked it a lot and there had definitely been something there._

 _Maya touched her lips with a smile, knowing she would always treasure the moment._

* * *

Maya stared at a flower petal that had drifted onto her lap. "My mom later told me she always knew when Lucas was over because I would always have a blush on my face, even if I never realized it."

"That's cute," Riley said. "I guess the friendship pact worked out the way you guys wanted it to then."

"It depends on how you look at it. Technically, it didn't work. We lost our friendship multiple times. But in the long run, I guess it did since we're best friends right now. Though I don't think after this we're going to remain close."

They fell silent as Maya swallowed hard, feeling her eyes start to well with tears once more as she thought about what she had seen.

"Did I ever tell you he was my first kiss?" Maya asked quietly, sniffling as she tried to find some way to divert her mind from the image that was replaying over and over again in her head.

"You didn't." Riley replied, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I was terrified. I knew I would feel something, and I would want to be more with Lucas if we kissed. And I was right. But I was afraid to ever take that step because I knew opening myself up would bring heartache. And it did." Maya muttered. "Lucas and my relationship brought me more heartache and pain than I could ever imagine through the years. And now this. I don't know if I can take this."

"Maya, you ran. There could be a perfectly good explanation."

"I don't think so. Besides, I should have seen this coming eventually."

"What do you mean?"

"Our kiss before high school started. That was when the beginning of the end started."

And if she was truly honest, they'd never really recovered their relationship properly.

* * *

 _But like many friendships tossed ruthlessly in an unpredictable and unfamiliar environment without proper protection, theirs drifted and suffered after middle school._

 _They'd tried to make it work but they'd always had different interests. Maya was more interested in art and dabbled in anarchy, and Lucas was into sports. So naturally, they found groups of friends who reflected those same interests and joined clubs where they could enjoy their talents. Maya befriended Brandon, a fellow anarchist and got in with the rebels. Lucas befriended Billy, a fellow sports nut, and got in with the jocks. And naturally, the more time they spent with their new groups and friends, the less time they spent with each other._

 _By the end of freshman year, they were no longer attached at the hip. By the end of sophomore year, they were only saying hi in the hallways or smiling and waving as they passed each other. And by the end of junior year, there was nothing left._

 _Lucas developed a reputation as a partying jock, popular and always dating around. Maya developed hers as a dangerous rebel chick who didn't give a fuck about life but could kick your ass in 2.5 seconds if you pissed her off. They had become two completely different people on two completely different sides of the spectrum._

 _It got to the point where Maya only heard about Lucas through gossip and things she heard around the school. Things that made her wonder if he honestly was as bad as he sounded in these rumours. Things that made her want to slap him upside his head and tell him he was being a dumbass. It got to the point where her mother eventually stopped asking where Lucas was or why he wasn't coming over to hang out with her anymore._

 _It got to the point where everyone seemed to forget that Lucas and Maya had even been best friends in the first place. Seeing them now, no one would ever believe that they had been close once upon a time. Because as close and loving as their old relationship had been, they were as far apart as the North and South Pole now._

 _It seemed like a distant dream to Maya now. The nights spent talking about their hopes and dreams for the future, supporting one another in their most difficult times, all the secrets they knew about each other. Their first kiss._

 _Like faded memories of a simpler time._

 _"I'm going to go get some more stuff out of the moving van, baby girl," Katy said, handing Maya a tattered shoe box. "I found this on your fire escape before we left. I don't think you remembered it was there."_

 _Maya took it reluctantly._

 _"Thanks Mom."_

 _Katy left Maya's room, and she peered out of the window of their new place at the street below. They lived in a better part of town now, a nicer apartment complex not infested with roaches and not nearby the "red lights" district. No more half-dressed hookers knocking on her window at night to use her bathroom, though she was going to miss Crystale. That woman had taught her everything there was to know about the art of giving a proper blowjob to well, blow his mind._

 _Her mother had gotten remarried a couple months ago to her boyfriend of a year, Shawn Hunter, right before the start of senior year, and they had moved into a bigger apartment to live as a family._

 _Shawn was alright. He wasn't too intrusive in her business. He didn't try to act as her father and wasn't pushy to build a relationship with her. He listened when she wanted to rant and mostly, he was like a mentor to her when she needed one. Maya doubted at her age that she would ever see Shawn as a father figure, but he was cool and he didn't pester her about her choice of a rebellious lifestyle, so she was chill about the whole remarriage thing. Plus, her mother was happy, and though Maya's relationship with her mom was fairly stagnant because she wasn't around that much, Maya still wanted the best for her mother._

 _Her unlit cigarette hanging from her lips, Maya finally opened the shoebox, her heart pounding all the while. She'd been hoping she could leave it behind and someone else would find it someday, but here it was in her possession once again, like a gnat that just wouldn't leave her the hell alone. Maya hadn't touched this thing in almost two years by this point._

 _Her Lucas box._

 _In order to try to get over the pain of losing her best friend, Maya had put everything from him or everything that symbolized their previous relationship inside the box. Including the golden locket._

 _Maya stared at it resting innocuously on top of photographs and other odd trinkets that she'd collected from him throughout the years. It'd been literal years since she last wore the golden heart. By this point, the gold was a bit dulled now, some of it a more bronze colour and some of the diamonds having fallen off. But the inside was in perfect condition._

 _There were still the pictures of little Maya and Lucas on the inside, best friends forever, grinning like the two dopey kids they had been. She chuckled softly as she traced Lucas' goofy grinning face in the picture, his trademark elementary snot drip leaking from his nose._

 _Lucas looked like an idiot with his shaggy bowl cut messy all over his head and eyes that always seemed bright, even when he was crying like the snot nosed little bitch boy he'd always been. Sea-foam green she called them now. They tended to change darkness in colour depending on the lighting and his moods. She really loved his eyes. If there was one thing she really missed about him, it was how comforting his gaze had always been even when he wasn't saying anything._

 _"Hi Maya!"_

 _The sudden voice tore her from her reverie._

 _Maya inhaled sharply, nearly dropping the locket when she heard the chipper voice's exclamation. Maya spun around sharply at the voice of the newcomer, seeing that it was some tall, lanky, string bean girl with wide, expressive brown eyes._

 _"What the hell?" Maya's eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you, and what the fuck are you doing in my room?"_

 _"Shawn's pseudo niece. My best friend is Farkle Minkus. They call me Bubble Girl at school because I'm always happy," she supplied cheerfully, her smile buzzing with energy and making Maya exhausted just by looking at her. Nothing she said was ringing any bells. "I'm in the grade below you, but remember me? Riley Matthews, sixteen years old, junior at JQA High? I was at the wedding in the summer."_

 _Maya vaguely remembered some girl named Riley who had been bouncing off the walls and tripping on her own dress, but Maya had been hammered at the after party, taking shots with Brandon, who'd been bartending the event in place of his father. Her memory was pretty vague of the entire celebration._

 _"Look, I don't remember you at all. And you didn't answer my question. Why are you in my room?"_

 _"When I found out from Uncle Shawn that I could be getting something like a sister, I was so excited!" Riley tittered, not even listening to a word Maya had said. "I really want us to be best friends, Maya."_

 _"Can you shut up?" Maya snapped. "I have a hangover. And I'm not interested in whatever lollipop vision you have of our relationship. We're not going to be friends. I can't stand people like you."_

 _Riley blinked owlishly, her head tilted to the side as if she didn't understand what Maya had said. Maya flicked her lighter and lit her cigarette with a sigh, taking a long drag before letting it out slowly. She leaned against the sill and poked her head out the window, hoping Riley would leave well enough alone. She didn't look too bright, though, so Maya didn't doubt that Riley would probably be continuing the conversation._

 _"You don't want to be best friends?" she asked in confusion as if she couldn't fathom the idea of someone not wanting to be friends with everybody._

 _Maya turned around and gave her an incredulous look. "Did you not just hear what I said? I'm not interested in being friends, and I can't stand people like you."_

 _"I heard you. But you said you can't stand people_ like _me. You didn't say you couldn't stand_ me."

 _Maya rolled her eyes. Maya could tell this girl was naïve and way too innocent for her age. She was the kind of person who needed to be protected. She kind of reminded her of how Lucas used to be when she'd first met him. Young and innocent and constantly needing someone to watch over him. And even though Maya tried to ignore this chipper girl, she knew some small part of her felt obligated to watch out for her now._

 _Dammit._

 _"Just because my mom married your whatever Shawn is to you doesn't mean I have to like you." Maya said sharply, snubbing out her cig on the windowsill, having suddenly lost the urge to smoke. "In fact, I don't. So go somewhere, you damn annoying little squirrel."_

 _"You won't get rid of me that easily. I can see how lonely you are in your heart. Lonely and lost. You need a best friend in your life." Riley pointed out. "Mark my words, Maya Hart: we will become best friends!"_

 _"Highly doubt that, Pumpkin," Maya said snidely._

 _Besides. She only had one best friend, even if they weren't best friends at the moment. Maya opened her other hand, staring at the locket resting in her palm forlornly. She could still remember the day he'd given it to her as if it was yesterday. The way he'd climbed into her bedroom window with that adorable ear splitting grin that she loved so much. The dorky best friend proposal. Their kiss._

 _What had happened to them?_

 _"What's that?" Riley suddenly asked._

 _Maya nearly freaked, jumping in surprise that Riley was still standing there._

 _"You're still here?! Go play somewhere else, for fuck's sake! I don't have time for you."_

 _"We were destined to be friends, Maya! Even before your mom started dating Uncle Shawn. When I was a freshman, I watched you help Farkle when he couldn't open his locker."_

 _"I don't remember any of that shit."_

 _"It doesn't matter. What matters is that from that moment on, I knew we were going to be best friends! I just never knew how to approach you. It's fate that your mom met Shawn because their marriage is what brought us together at last!"_

 _Was this girl really sixteen?_

 _"You're crazy, you know that?" Maya said, giving her a look. "And childish."_

 _"So are you." Riley said with a gleeful smile._

 _"What do you want, Riley?" Maya sighed, feeling more exhausted than she'd ever been in her life. "What will it take for you to leave me alone?"_

 _"I want to know what that is in your hand. It's beautiful."_

 _Maya rolled her eyes. "It's a locket. Happy now?"_

 _"Who gave it to you? If you don't mind me asking."_

 _"My best friend." Maya murmured as she stared down at it. "Well, ex best friend."_

 _"Why did you say ex?" Riley asked, a sympathetic gleam in her cherry brown eyes._

 _"Because we don't talk anymore."_

 _"…But did you get in a fight?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Then you're still best friends." Riley stated confidently._

 _Maya looked up and stared at her, a brow raised._

 _"You just don't talk, that's all. But you never actually ended your friendship."_

 _Maya rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well I don't think that's the way it works, Princess. He's busy with sports and all his popularity, and I'm… Maya Hart. Rebel. We don't mix as best friends at all."_

 _"Neither do we. I'm Riley Matthews. Nerd. Goody goody. But we are best friends."_

 _"You're delusional." Maya growled, giving her a dirty look. "Can you leave please? Before I catch whatever dumdum, clueless disease you seem to have."_

 _Riley giggled in amusement, once again, Maya's abrasive words going right in one ear and out the other._

 _"I do have to pick up my brother from a friends' place so I was about to leave, but I want to know. Who was your best friend? Do I know him?"_

 _"Probably. Lucas Friar."_

 _"Whoa!" Riley gasped dramatically, her eyes widening. "Your best friend is one of the most popular guys in school?!"_

 _"Yeah… He is." Maya felt her throat tighten a bit. "Hard to believe, huh?"_

 _"Well best friends should always stick together no matter what."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Don't you worry, Maya! I'll fix it. It's what I do!"_

 _"Fix what? What do you mean by 'fix it'? Riley!"_

 _But the girl had already run out of the room before Maya could try to make her explain what the hell she meant. It didn't sound good at all. What the hell had she meant by "fix it"?_

 _Katy walked back in the room, looking over her shoulder. "I just ran into Riley on the way out. Did you talk to her?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Sweet girl, isn't she?"_

 _Maya shrugged, uninterested in discussing the girl she now was imagining as a squirrel in her mind._

 _"Probably insane." She muttered under her breath. "But I guess so."_

 _"Shawn's coming back with the pizzas soon. Let me go see if I can find the box with all of the plates and shit."_

 _"Kay."_

 _After Katy had disappeared down the hallway, Maya stared back down at the locket. It had always been important to her. When had she stopped wearing it? When had not wearing it become second nature when she used to never take it off except to shower? She used to sleep with the thing on, pretending that Lucas was beside her, keeping her company and helping her to drift off._

 _Maya unclasped the lock on the chain and put the locket on, her heart swelling at the comfort she felt at the familiar weight resting against her chest._

 _She tucked it in her shirt and continued to rearrange her things, a small, nostalgia tinged smile on her face as she worked._

* * *

"Can't believe that's how you saw me." Riley chuckled softly. "But I was right, wasn't I? We became best friends."

"Yeah. We did." Maya smiled with a sniffle. "Honestly, it's a good thing you kept pressing though. I might have ended up tossing the locket back into the box and thrown the box away for good."

"Did he ever figure out you started wearing the locket again?"

"Yes, but it wasn't until we got thrown in detention because of you."

Riley gave her a confused look, completely unaware, and Maya chuckled.

"You really lived in your own world, back then, didn't you? You tried to fix things and made them worse. And it definitely didn't help that you were an easy target for being with the nerd group."

"Wait, are you talking about that time I bit Brett Michaels?!"

"Yeah, you psychopath."

* * *

 _Another day, another annoying lunch hour._

 _Jocks and cheerleaders laughing loudly and causing a disturbance in their corner._

 _Preppy girls and rich kids reading magazines and tittering over whatever stupid gossip was fresh in the rumour mill._

 _Nerds and geeks chatting merrily, pleased that for once there were no students picking on them during this hour of temporary social hierarchy truce. Well… temporary truce provided that no idiots decided to start a food fight._

 _Freshman looking absolutely doe eyed in awe at the seniors.  
_

 _Yupp. Just another day at JQA High._

 _Maya couldn't wait to graduate in the spring. She was fed up with school and all the annoying people. And of those annoying people,_ especially _Riley "We're Going To Be Best Friends" Matthews. The annoying girl had taken to following her whenever she saw her, trying to strike up conversations with Maya when she was in the hallways and exclaiming greetings and nearly busting out Maya's eardrums whenever they passed each other on their way to their classes. Riley hadn't been kidding, only doubling her efforts and Maya had had it with Riley following her with that big goofy grin on her face. Her friends had taken to calling Riley a baby duckling because she basically was that way towards Maya._

 _Maya dragged her feet to her usual table, running her hand through her hair in exhaustion, glad to see that Brandon was already there and the rest of their pack of lovely rebels hadn't arrived yet. She wasn't particularly in the mood to be around people just yet. He was picking apart something that she was sure probably belonged on his bike when Maya plopped down across from him, dumping her books on the table._

 _"Maya Hart doing homework?" Brandon said with a raised brow, though he was still scrutinizing the bike part. "You got a day left to live or something?"_

 _"Carl the Crabapple told me if I didn't turn in my paper by this afternoon, he'd fail me. Fuck this."_

 _"So don't do it."_

 _"My mom told me if I failed anymore assignments, she'd start cracking down tougher on my extracurricular activities. Smoking and what not."_

 _Brandon nodded in greeting to one of the sophomore rebels who took her place a little further down from them, looking absolutely bored out of her mind._

 _"Too bad you don't live alone like I do," he said with a smirk._

 _"Speaking of living alone, Riley knows where I live and she shows up all the damn time. Can I crash at your place until she gets the hint? She showed up at my room with brownies at two in the morning asking if I wanted to share them with her."_

 _"What did you do?" Brandon asked, looking somewhere in the distance past Maya's shoulder._

 _"I took the brownies and locked her out of my window." Maya grumbled in annoyance, rummaging through her tattered binder to see if she could find some loose leaf paper. She couldn't remember the last time she'd ever bought some. "She vowed to try again next week and left giggling like some demented cartoon character. I've had it with this girl. Why does she want to be my friend so badly?"_

 _"I don't know, but your little doe eyed sister—"_

 _"Not my sister."_

 _"Might as well be." Brandon countered smoothly. "She's about to get harassed. Stepped on Michaels' foot walking by the jock table."_

 _"What?"_

 _Maya spun around in her seat, a brow raised as she found Riley's lanky form, grinning sheepishly and holding her binder in front of her as some type of shield as Brett Michaels slowly approached her. She was getting backed up into the wall._

 _"What the hell is she doing near the jock table when the nerds are on the other side of the cafeteria?" Maya muttered._

 _"I don't know, but time's a wastin', Hart." Brandon said, yawning in boredom. "Are you really going to let Michaels do something to her?"_

 _"She's not my problem." Maya turned her back on the situation. "She shouldn't have been dumb enough to go near them in the first place."_

 _"True. But she is your responsibility."_

 _"No she's not! Goddamn."_

 _Brandon shrugged, but said nothing, going back to tinkering with the bike part. Behind her, Maya could hear chattering diminishing as the cafeteria grew even quieter from the impending confrontation. She clenched her fist in annoyance._

 _Why the hell was the damn squirrel making her life more complicated than it needed to be?_

 _"Maya!" She heard Riley cry behind her. "Help me!"_

 _"She's calling for you," Brandon said calmly. "Still going to ignore her?"_

 _"Fuck you all." Maya snapped, shooting out of her seat and ignoring Brandon's triumphant smirk._

 _Maya let out a low growl under her breath, sticking her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket and sauntering slowly over to where Riley was nearly being pressed into the wall by Brett, her heels ominously clicking evenly on the tiles as she approached. Where was her rusted steel pipe when she needed it for intimidation?_

 _"Is there a problem here?" Maya asked nonchalantly._

 _Riley tilted sideways, looking past Brett with a cheerful grin._

 _"You saved me!" Riley exclaimed. "I knew you liked me, Maya!"_

 _"Seriously, Riley? Now's not the time."_

 _Brett turned around, giving Maya a look before dismissing her with a wave of his hand._

 _"Butt out. This is between me and your virginal sister."_

 _"Can't get any so you're trying to go after her, Brett? You're pathetic. She's way out of your league. Couldn't even bag her if you tried."_

 _Brett turned around with a sneer, eyeing Maya with a dark look in his gaze._

 _"Ooh! Can you teach me how to trash talk, Maya?"_

 _"Riley._ Shut up."

 _Brett smirked. "So are you implying_ you _are in my league then? Cuz I don't mind having you as a substitute for your prude sister."_

 _He leaned in close to her, nearly backing her up onto the table behind her, boxing her in with his arms. Maya held her ground, glaring up at him impassively, unaffected by his proximity. If he thought she was intimidated in the least, he had another think coming._

 _"Babe, I don't know what shit you're smoking, but you're delusional. You and me? Never gonna happen."_

 _"But you're lying. You'll do anything to suck someone's dick. I know how slutty you are." He lowered his voice, speaking derisively in her ear. "How much do your services cost? I'd love to see your head bobbing up and down between my legs."_

 _Maya's eyes narrowed and without a word, she drove her knee up and kneed him right in the nuts, hoping it was hard enough to prevent him from possibly having children in the future. Brett cried out and backed away from her, his hands on his crotch as he spewed out profanities._

 _"How about no?" Maya said simply as Riley scampered over to her, that same goofy grin on her face._

 _"You can do it, Maya! You're amazing!" Riley cheered beside her like some kind of personal cheerleader._

 _She frowned. "Riley, what the fuck were you thinking?"_

 _But Riley never got the chance to answer because Brett straightened to his full height, eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared at them._

 _"Where I come from, bitches like you would be bent over my knee right now." he growled, taking a step towards them._

 _"Where you come from, there's no difference between the animals and the humans." Maya snarked back, rolling her eyes and stepping a bit more in front of Riley._

 _It was at times like this that she wished she was taller. If Brett really was gunning for a fight, she'd be at a serious disadvantage because he was a football player and one of the tallest senior guys. Riley was pretty up there in height, but she was all limbs and clumsy, and it wouldn't bode well if Maya had to protect Riley while trying to avoid him._

 _"Give it a shot." Maya cracked her knuckles. "I'm sure I can take you out."_

 _"You bitch…"_

 _And Lucas came out of nowhere, gripping Brett's shoulder tightly and stopping him from moving forward._

 _"Brett, calm down," he said simply. "It's not worth it."_

 _Maya's brows lifted in surprise, and she met Lucas' gaze._

 _For a second, it felt like they were the only two in the cafeteria, the only two in their own little world. His gaze softened the slightest bit, a small, barely there smile on his lips as he watched her. She almost started to smile back until she remembered who had been at fault for them drifting apart in the first place._

 _The moment was broken when Brett snatched his shoulder out of Lucas' grip, and Riley squealed in excitement right in Maya's ear. Maya's eyes narrowed in annoyance._

 _"Butt out, Friar," she spat. "I can take care of myself. I don't need your chivalry bullshit."_

 _Lucas looked a little taken off guard for moment, clearly not having expected her to react like that. His eyes also narrowed, something like hurt creeping a bit into his gaze. She didn't care._

 _"Get out of my face, Lucas." Brett growled, turning and facing him._

 _"Chill the fuck out, Brett." Lucas responded easily, not even a little bit intimidated by the impending fight as if this was all routine for him. It surprised Maya. The Lucas she had always known avoided conflicts like this. He was a pacifist by nature. So why did he seem so itching for a fight? "You're out of line. Leave them alone."_

 _"Yeah! You big wimp!" Riley shouted._

 _To Maya's absolute horror, Riley grabbed Brett's arm and bit him._

 _"Get the fuck off of me!" Brett twisted his arm away from Riley and shoved her away from him. Riley yelped and tripped as she stumbled backwards, landing on her ass in surprise and blinking up at them as if she didn't realize what had just happened. "You crazy bitch."_

 _"Hell no! Do_ not _touch her!" Maya yelled, jabbing him in the chest._

 _"Or what? You'll kick my ass? Tiny thing like you? Yeah, okay."_

 _Brett pushed Maya harshly by the shoulders. She tripped on Riley's outstretched legs and tumbled backwards, falling onto Riley with a grunt._

 _"Hey!" Lucas barked._

 _Brett turned around with a sneer and next thing Maya knew, Lucas decked him across the face. There were gasps in the cafeteria as Brett's head snapped to the side from the impact. He glared at Lucas out of the corner of his eye, wiping his nose of the slight trickle of blood._

 _"Don't touch her." Lucas said lowly, a sharp, dangerous glint in his eyes that Maya had never seen before. Her heartrate sped up as she stared at him. "Or_ I'll _kick your ass."_

 _"You just signed up for the beatdown of your life…"_

 _Brett swung at Lucas, aiming for his face. Lucas barely avoided it, though Maya did wince a bit when Brett's fist made contact with part of Lucas' jaw. They glared at each other, teeth grit, chests heaving from their angry breaths as they squared off._

 _And that was all it took for them to get in a serious fight, grappling with each other and trying to throw punches at each other while people chanted 'fight, fight, fight' in the background and a crowd began to form around them._

 _Maya was pissed. She didn't care about the whole defending thing, but how dare Brett push her and Riley like they were some rag dolls?_

 _She stood up from the floor and jumped on Brett's back, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling his ear with her other hand. He twisted around with a shout, trying to knock her off of him while trying to fend off Lucas' attacks. Riley was giggling in the background, cheering excitedly, and Maya vaguely wondered if something really was wrong with her._

 _Maya couldn't really tell what was going on with all the movement around her, but one second, she was on Brett's back screaming profanities in his ear and the next, she was yanked off under her armpits and kicking her legs in the open air._

 _"Hey! Hey!" Coach Barrow shouted, helping another teacher pull apart the two boys. "What the hell is going on here?! Who started this fight? Minkus, you're lunch monitor. What happened?"_

 _"I-I don't know?" Farkle said, looking confused. "I only noticed it just now."_

 _"I know what happened." Riley piped up, standing up and dusting herself off. "Lucas and Maya started a fight with Brett."_

 _Maya and Lucas both snapped their heads towards Riley with_ _slackened jaws, shocked and incredulous looks on their faces. Even Brett looked a little surprised, his brows high up on his forehead as he stared at Riley._

 _"What?" Maya snarled._

 _"You've gotta be fucking kidding me…" Lucas growled, glaring at Riley._

 _"Well, Riley doesn't lie." Farkle said nervously. "So I guess she's telling the truth?"_

 _"Understood." Coach Barrow replied, finally letting go of the back of the two boys' letterman jackets. "Friar, Hart, detention after school."_

 _"Seriously? I have to be at practice, Coach!"_

 _"And I have an art project I need to work on after school!"_

 _"No negotiation. You fight, you get detention. That's our school policy."_

 _"We didn't even start it!"_

 _"I'm sorry, guys. That's just the way it is. Maybe next time, you won't start fights in the cafeteria." Coach Barrow shrugged. "Now all of you get back to your seats and stop with the disruptions!"_

 _The crowd dispersed, chattering about the newest bit of juicy gossip, and Riley picked up her books from the ground before going over to where Farkle was standing. As she passed by Maya, she gave her an apologetic smile._

 _"You'll thank me later, Maya."_

 _"Riley, shut the fuck up." Maya snapped, snarling at her. "This is your fault."_

 _"I know. Like I said: you'll thank me later. I'll see you at dinner tonight!"_

 _Riley giggled and skipped away beside Farkle, and Maya stared after her angrily, wondering if she would get in a lot of trouble if she hung Riley by her ankles from one of the school diving boards to teach her a lesson about how wrong it was to lie. Maya had tried to defend her and this was how she was repaid?_

 _As Maya turned around, she caught Lucas staring at her, an odd look on his face. Maya narrowed her eyes with a scoff, spinning on her heel to head back to her table. She was furious, not even able to crack a smile when the other rebels at the table cheered, applauding her for her bravery._

 _"Everything all good?" Brandon asked with a smirk._

 _She knew he knew damn well everything was not all good._

 _"Fuck this. That's the last time I help Riley. Or anyone for that matter."_

 _"Keep telling yourself that, Hart. Matthews has already got you wrapped around her little pinky."_

 _She flipped Brandon off and snatched up her books, storming out of the cafeteria angrily and muttering to herself. She needed a fucking smoke._

 _As she headed out of the cafeteria, she caught Lucas' eye again and tried to tell herself she didn't feel a slight chill go down her back from the way he was looking at her._

* * *

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that. I was really fearless back then, wasn't I?"

"Fearless?" Maya snorted. "No Riley. You were _reckless_. And dumb. You made yourself a target."

"I learned from you, didn't I? And because of me, you and Lucas reunited."

Maya had briefly wondered at some point if fate really had brought Riley into her life. Because technically, she had Riley to thank for bringing Lucas back into her life.

"Yeah, but only because you thought it was a good idea to pick a fight with the most asshole of assholes in school."

"But it got you to help me, didn't it?"

"I guess."

"And then Lucas had to help you when you got in trouble. Because he still cared about you."

"…I guess that's clearly changed now." Maya sighed.

Riley's shoulders slumped.

"I am so sorry, Maya. This really is my fault. I'm the one who made you guys meet again. If I hadn't meddled, you wouldn't be hurting so much right now."

"Don't be sorry. I still got my best friend back when I was starting to get lost, and that means more to me than you even know. Besides. A lot more happened between now and then, you know? Even without this situation, I still suffered a lot of pain."

"What do you mean?"

"I meant what I said. That kiss was only the beginning. And our reunion in detention was the catalyst to that continuous heartache."

* * *

 _This blew._

 _Maya had gotten detention because of Riley's stupid meddling and on top of that, she was forced to sit in this classroom for three hours for trying to protect her "sister" when she'd almost gotten harassed by an asshole._

 _And the most annoying part?_

 _Lucas._

 _He kept looking at her as if he was trying to say something but would lose his nerve and face the front after not saying anything. It was driving her_ nuts. _She really needed him to cut the bullshit out because she was starting to get pissed off. It was oddly reminiscent of their first meeting in a way, and if Maya wasn't in such a bad mood already, she would have found it amusing._

 _She just wanted to stew in her own anger and irritation without his annoying staring. Was that too much to fucking ask?_

 _Maya dug around her pocket, sighing in relief when she found her spare cigarette and it still had just about enough for a handful of puffs before she'd be done with it. She brought it carefully to her lips, yanking out her lighter and lighting the butt._

 _"You're not seriously going to smoke that in here, are you?" Lucas asked incredulously beside her._

 _She ignored him, taking a couple small puffs before letting out the smoke, little by little so as not to cause too much to drift up at once and to give it time to evaporate a bit. If she wasn't careful, the smoke would collect too thickly._

 _"Maya. You'll set off the sprinklers," he growled, sounding annoyed._

 _"Oh so you_ do _know my name." She rose a brow, side eyeing him briefly before going back to her treat. "I'm not 'Hey' anymore."_

 _He frowned. "Don't try to act like I'm the only one who stopped talking."_

 _"You were certainly the only one who made big efforts to break away from our friendship." Maya grumbled, irritated that he still seemed to know her well enough that he had figured out what she had been referring to easily._

 _"That's not true and you know it." Lucas shrugged off his letterman jacket, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, and Maya forced herself not to stare at his arms. "We both stepped away."_

 _"But you stepped away first, when you started dating_ Lindsay _the cheerleader who was your ticket to popularity." Maya scoffed in disgust, running a hand through her tangled blonde waves. "You completely changed when you joined their group. Turned into a cliché from some dweeby teen novel. A jock who dates popular girls to get some. And through it all, I sat there wondering what happened to the dorky Lucas I once knew. The things I've heard about you are absolutely disgusting. This girl you hooked up with and that girl. If I had known this is how you'd turn out to be, I wouldn't have even wasted my time with you when we were younger."_

 _She hadn't meant to spill all of her feelings on the matter, but she'd suddenly felt an ache in her chest. A deep ache and longing for her friendship back and the words had spilled out before she could contain them. Plus, the metal from the locket under her shirt was almost_ burning _her, reminding her of what she had lost with each passing second she was stuck in detention with him._

"Me? _I've changed? If I'm a cliché jock, then you're that cliché edgy, rebellious character who acts like the whole world is out to get them." Lucas was looking absolutely floored right now, staring at her like she'd lost her fucking mind. "Since when do you wear leather jackets and smoke and bring rusted pipes to school? You know what things I've heard about you? You're known as the Blowjob Bitch by some of the guys on my team. Are you going around giving blowjobs for money at school? Where the fuck is your dignity?"_

 _"Guess Crystale really taught me well." Maya snarked. "My reputation really does precede me if even my ex best friend believes it over what he actually knows about me."_

 _"But I don't know you. Not anymore." Lucas' gaze darkened angrily. Maya's fist clenched. That comment had hurt her more than she wanted to admit. "Maya, stop playing games. It isn't true, is it?"_

 _She took a long drag and then turned and blew out a ring of smoke right in his face._

 _"Wouldn't you like to know…"_

 _Without a word, Lucas reached over and snatched her cigarette out of her hand. He snubbed it out on his desk, and Maya felt her blood boil under her skin._

 _"Hey, you jackass! I was smoking that!"_

 _She stood up to try to take it from him, but Lucas anticipated her attack and stood from his desk as well, holding his hand high above his head. Maya jumped up, trying to grab it, but she couldn't reach. Even in her heels, she didn't come up much over his shoulders. Damn it all to hell. However smaller than her he used to be in elementary school, he was unbelievably taller than her now. And she hated it._

 _"We're already in detention. Do you honestly want to get suspended for smoking inside the school building?" Lucas asked, watching her try to get it from him with an amused look on his face. "And for that matter, why the hell are you smoking?"_

 _"Get off my dick, Huckleberry."_

 _They both froze when the name fell from her lips. Maya mentally cursed for falling back into her stupid old habits of using that nickname. They stared at each other in silence, unsure of what to say or do._

 _Lucas broke the silence first._

 _"Wow… Haven't heard that in a while." He sighed, dropping his arm and giving Maya back her cig. "Not gonna lie. That sounded like music to my ears."_

 _Maya looked away when his gaze turned a bit warm and her heart began racing in her chest. She refused to look at him. Not when there were too many emotions swirling through her mind. Especially emotions that she couldn't really understand at the moment. And looking into Lucas' expressive, gorgeous eyes would only make it harder to figure out what was going on in her heart and mind._

 _"…We've really changed, haven't we?" he muttered a bit dejectedly, sitting on the edge of his desk and crossing his arms in front of his chest._

 _Maya followed suit, hopping up onto her own and staring at her boots._

 _"Well… One thing hasn't changed. Or at least, it's come back."_

 _She reached inside of her shirt, slowly pulling up the chain of the locket until the heart was dangling in the air. Lucas stared at it, his brows lifting in surprise as his arms loosened and slackened against his side. Maya smiled slightly, feeling her cheeks burn with a slight blush as she finally looked at him. She felt vulnerable and wide open for the world to see, yet she didn't move, waiting to see what Lucas would have to say._

 _"You kept it."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _Lucas lifted his gaze and met hers, staring at her in awe, something soft in his eyes that made her want to cry and hug him and punch him and kiss him all at once. She let go of the chain, letting the locket fall against her chest once more._

 _"You kept it," he repeated slowly, as if he just couldn't believe it._

 _"You were my best friend, Lucas." She wrung the hem of her top, feeling nervous. "You're important to me. And so is the locket."_

 _"I'm still your best friend," he said earnestly. "I always will be."_

 _"We've become such different people though." Maya felt a little self-conscious under the weight of his gaze._

 _Lucas was silent for a few moments. Then with a small smile, he got off of the desk, walking the few steps over to her. He took her hands with both of his, and Maya felt a jolt of electricity from his touch. She could feel her heart drumming in her ears and wondered if Lucas could hear her heartbeat, it was that loud._

 _"Have we though?" Lucas asked softly. "You're still that caring, sensitive girl who just wants someone to stick around for you. And I'm still your dorky Huckleberry dog. The one who needs unwavering support."_

"My _Huckleberry dog?" Maya rose a brow though she laughed._

 _"I'm yours. Your best friend for life. We sealed the deal, didn't we?"_

 _Maya's heart felt like it was near about to explode in her chest as she held his gaze, feeling that familiar comfort she always got from Lucas' eyes. And something else she thought she'd buried long ago that was slowly being dredged up with each passing second that he stood in front of her holding her hands._

 _"Well then," she finally said, "you owe me a jelly doughnut, Ranger Rick."_

 _"That I do."_

* * *

"That's sweet." Riley swooned. "I always wondered how it went when you made up. You know, I tried to find where detention was so I could spy on you, but my dad made me come home to babysit Auggie."

"It was sweet." Maya smiled, looking at some flowers in the distance. "But that was also the very last time we were ever friends."

Riley frowned.

"Did you guys stop being friends again?"

"Eventually, yeah. But not then. I meant that was the last time we were _just_ friends."

"Things changed?"

Maya nodded.

"Not immediately of course. We talked and became sort of friends again, and we started trying to spend time together again. But we could never go back to the us we used to be before high school. Because that kiss had changed us, even if we didn't know it. Where we restarted was where we had ended. Just past the edge of being _just_ friends."

* * *

 _Even though she and Lucas did attempt to rebuild their friendship, they didn't exactly become friends right off the bat. Yes, they were obviously friends, but it wasn't that simple._

 _For one, there was something different about their interactions. Some weird tension and something a little bit charged every time they talked. And above that, they couldn't hang out regularly at school, nor did they have that much time to be around each other._

 _Maya was still with the rebels after all, and Lucas was still a popular jock. It would never work for them to just hang out with each other. Plus, they didn't have the same interests because he still disapproved of a lot of her lifestyle, and she hated the way he liked to live his, though Maya had stopped smoking and Lucas stopped hooking up with girls. Unlike them at their youth, a friendship with them so different in their current time wasn't compatible the way they wanted it to be._

 _But they were still drawn to each other._

 _To make sure Lucas knew she was thinking about him and their relationship was important to her even if they weren't able to return to the them of their youth, she wore the locket out in the open. Some of her friends remembered it from freshman year and asked her why she suddenly started to wear it again, but she would never tell._

 _Growing back into their friendship was stilted and awkward, but slowly, she and Lucas started to talk more. Started to open up more and become more comfortable with each other. And aside from the odd moments with lingering looks and smiles that were a bit too affectionate for being friends, they didn't seem to have any issues._

 _"You sure it's okay having me over?" Lucas asked, rubbing the back of his neck as they made their way to Maya's apartment door._

 _She gave him a look over her shoulder. "Relax, Huckleberry. My mom doesn't know anything about why we stopped hanging out. She doesn't hate you."_

 _"Okay."_

 _Maya unlocked their apartment door and walked in, slipping her hand into Lucas' and tugging him in. He looked around in surprise, clearly taking in how different Maya's home was from the one he had been used to in their youth._

 _"Mom, I'm home. And I brought a guest."_

 _He walked with her through the living room where Katy and Shawn were sitting, cuddled on the couch and watching a movie. They both turned their heads with a smile, but when they saw Lucas, Katy's grin widened and Shawn scowled._

 _"Who's your boyfriend, Maya?" Katy teased playfully._

 _"Mom." Maya rolled her eyes. "It's_ Lucas. _Remember him?"_

 _Maya was vaguely aware that she hadn't corrected the boyfriend mistake, but part of her couldn't deny it honestly did feel like she had brought home a boyfriend instead of a best friend._

 _"Hey, Ms. Hart." Lucas said with a slightly sheepish grin._

 _Katy blinked at him for a few seconds, clearly running through attributes she remembered of the younger him. And then something seemed to click in her mind. Katy stood up slowly, walking around the couch with her jaw dropped in shock. She stopped in front of them and chuckled in astonishment._

 _"Oh my God. Lucas as in your Huckleberry Lucas?"_

 _"Yes Mom."_

 _"How the hell did you let this friendship go? Look at him."_

 _And Maya's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Every time she used to bring Lucas over, her mother would always embarrass her. This was no different, only now it was worse because her mom had a suggestive smile on her face that was making her feel awkward._

 _"Mom, please stop."_

 _"Lucas, it has been too damn long. You look so grown up! You're so handsome, you little stud! How's life? How's your mother?"_

 _"It's good, and she's doing great, thanks for asking." He chuckled good-naturedly. "She asked about you a few days ago. She was wondering if you'd want to come over for dinner sometime soon."_

 _"You know what? I would love that. I feel like after you guys stopped hanging out, we stopped too and I'd really like to get that relationship back."_

 _"I'll let her know."_

 _"Who's this guy, Maya?" Shawn asked, normally enough, but he was watching Lucas suspiciously and Maya groaned, knowing exactly what was going through his mind._

 _"Lucas, this is my step dad, Shawn Hunter. Shawn, this is my_ best friend, _Lucas Friar."_

 _"You're a good looking guy, Friar."_

 _"Uh… thank you?"_

 _"You must get a lot of action. I hope you're not planning on the same activities with my daughter."_

 _Maya rolled her eyes with a groan, wondering why both her parents had to embarrass her. She'd watched movies with awkward scenarios like this but she never entertained the thought that this kind of thing would happen to her._

 _"Okay you guys should probably just go now." Katy said, somewhat apologetically._

 _"Good idea."_

 _Maya pulled Lucas after her towards the hallway, hurrying to get out of the living room because she didn't think this could get any more embarrassing than it already was._

 _"Door stays open, Maya!" Shawn called out._

 _Maya nearly shoved Lucas into her room, and then she slammed her door shut just to spite Shawn._

 _"I knew this shit would happen." Maya muttered in annoyance, kicking off her boots and belly flopping onto her bed._

 _Lucas stood in the center of her room, looking around it as if memorizing what he was seeing._

 _"It's so different. But it's the same." He walked over to the bunny night lamp on her desk. "Though this kind of seems out of place for a rebellious girl."_

 _"Riley gave that to me."_

 _"Meant to ask you. Who is Riley, exactly? She keeps giving me thumbs ups in the hallway, and I'm not sure what it means. And people at school keep calling her your sister."_

 _Maya rolled onto her back, pulling out her phone from her pocket to tell Riley not to come over otherwise she would lock her window again._

 _"She's Shawn's pseudo niece. With the marriage, somehow, I ended up with a younger sister whether I wanted to or not."_

 _Lucas nodded. "I didn't know Katy got remarried. I was surprised when you said step dad."_

 _"Well, it happened in the summer before this school year started. There was no possible way you could have known. We weren't talking."_

 _"…Right."_

 _He fell silent, staring at her rug. She just knew what had to be going through his mind. He was thinking about all the milestones they'd missed in each other's lives. Loss of virginity, first taste of alcohol, first party, first serious boyfriends and girlfriends, etc. All the big events they would have shared with each other and supported each other through had they kept up their promise. Maya felt it too. The pain of having not been there for Lucas._

 _Maya sighed. "Lucas, we don't have to be awkward about this, you know? Yes, it's weird, but we can still make up for the past. So stop being weird about being in my room and let's just chill like we used to. It's no big deal."_

 _"What if Shawn walks in and sees us?"_

 _"Then you're screwed, who cares?"_

 _Lucas rolled his eyes, but set his bag next to her bed, settling beside her and laying down on his back next to her and looking at the band posters on her ceiling._

 _"Is my life that inconsequential to you, Shortstack?" Lucas asked sarcastically._

 _"You have to ask, Hopalong?" Maya snarked back._

 _"Oh yeah. Before I forget." Lucas leaned over the side and rummaged in his school bag. When he pulled himself back up, he was holding a brown paper bag._

 _"What's that?"_

 _"Jelly doughnut. I owe you one, don't I?" he said with a shit eating grin, the same kind of grin that Maya had always remembered on his face._

 _"You finally brought one." Maya said, turning onto her side and beaming as she took the bag. "Took you long enough."_

 _"Yeah." Lucas leaned on his elbow, looking down at her with a pleased smile. "To finally make amends."_

 _"Well you've succeeded. Thanks. I lo…"_

 _She tapered off, her eyes widening a fraction. She had been so close to saying 'I love you, Lucas'. So unbelievably close to letting the words drop from her lips. But something felt weird about that statement._

 _Not because she didn't mean it and not because she didn't love him, but because she felt the words wouldn't have the same meaning they used to before nor did the timing feel right to say them. She knew she couldn't just blurt them out like she used to when they were younger. They would have a different connotation now._

 _Lucas' gaze darkened the slightest bit as he stared at her, waiting for her to finish her statement._

 _"You…?"_

 _"…I'm lucky to have you as a best friend," she finished lamely._

 _Lucas nodded slowly, though he kept his gaze trained on her, his eyes burning with a slight heat to them that made Maya wonder if inviting him to be on her bed with her was such a good idea. Her mind was starting to skirt a danger zone, and she wondered if he was having the same thoughts._

 _"Of course," he said in a slightly lower tone of voice. "You'll always have me."_

 _Maya chuckled nervously as her heart skipped a beat in her chest, and she quickly rolled onto her back so she could avoid his gaze._

 _"Right, so how have you been?" she asked, changing the subject and tossing the bag with the doughnut onto the nightstand above her head._

 _Lucas laid on his back too, setting his head on her pillow and staring at her ceiling._

 _"Long story or short?"_

 _"Well, we have about three years to catch up on, so I guess long. Urgh… you're going to be talking for ages."_

 _She could see the smile on his face as he wrapped his hand around her much smaller one, their fingers intertwining naturally as they always had._

 _"Just like old times."_

 _"Yeah. Like old times."_

 _Except now, they were grown. Except now holding hands felt different. Except now Maya understood what she was feeling in her heart._

 _Except now, their relationship had a different meaning._

* * *

"I had feelings for Lucas, Riley. Really strong feelings that I kept trying to push away. And he had feelings for me too."

"Why didn't you just go for it?" Riley asked curiously.

"Because not everybody can shuck away common sense, not think about the consequences to actions, and act crazy like you to get what they want, Riley." Maya rose a brow.

"Not a lie." Riley laughed.

"We weren't ready to make that step. I think part of us knew that doing so wouldn't work out between us." Maya sighed, leaning back against the bench and staring at the sky. "But we kept trying to deny the feelings even existed. Kept trying to play them down and act as if they didn't matter in the long run. We were stuck in a limbo of push and pull. Sometimes I slipped up, let my feelings leak. Sometimes he slipped up, let his feelings leak."

"How did the tug of war game end?"

"I made a move."

"And what happened?"

"Our relationship got ruined, just as I expected."

* * *

 _"Where's Brandon…" Maya giggled, trying to put a piece of hair into Lucas' ear as he hitched her back up when she started to slip from his back. "Wasn't he at the party?"_

 _"He's still at the party trying to keep Riley and Farkle out of trouble. You're lucky he went with you guys. Stopped that asshole from trying to take advantage of you and called me," Lucas said as he finally reached the landing of the fire escape outside of her window. He set her down gently, making sure she could lean against the wall instead of faceplanting on the ground. He tugged open her window, peeking in to see if there was a trap waiting for him. "Alright, you have to stay quiet, Maya. I know you're wasted as fuck, but if we get caught by Shawn, I'm screwed."_

 _"Awww… But he likes you now, Sundance."_

 _"Sure he does." Lucas muttered sarcastically, climbing into her window and then turning around to give her a hand. She climbed in part of the way, and Lucas took her waist, pulling her in the rest in a routine they'd done too many times to count at that point. He set her on her feet. "He only shows it by sharpening knives every time I come over and talking about the shovel he has in the back of his car."_

 _"I do too, you know?" Maya mumbled, stumbling towards her bed in a daze. She landed face first and started snorting with laughter, wondering why the world was suddenly spinning. "I like you, Lucas."_

 _"I know." He sighed, walking over to her and stooping beside her bed. "I like you too, Maya."_

 _Not what she had meant, but clearly he didn't understand. Maya liked him. Probably even loved him, really._

 _He peeled off her heels and then helped her tug off the tight jacket before tossing them both behind him._

 _Maya frowned. She did love him. She loved him a lot and she wanted to tell him. To hell with her fears._

 _She blinked, trying to focus her vision on Lucas, her gaze serious as she grasped his bicep._

 _"You're mine, right?" Maya said._

 _"Yeah, I'm yours."_

 _Maya patted the spot next to her. "Can you stay with me for a bit? I'm lonely."_

 _"Sure. Shove over, Shortstack."_

 _"I don't wanna…" she whined._

 _Lucas rolled his eyes but grabbed her around her midriff to shift her closer to the wall. Maya squealed, laughing and kicking her legs when he accidentally tickled her. He moved her to one side of her bed and plopped down next to her, chuckling to himself._

 _"Right, I forgot how ticklish you get when you're drunk."_

 _He rolled over onto his side, watching her as she struggled to get her hair out of her face, sputtering when a bunch of strands got in her mouth. Maya pushed her hair out of her face with a huff before turning on her side and smiling flirtatiously at him and batting her eyelashes._

 _"Hi." he said softly, a small, amused smile on his lips._

 _"Hey."_

 _She scooted closer to him, pressing herself against him as she stared at his lips. Lucas watched her silently, his breathing a little heavier than it was before._

 _"I like you, Lucas." Maya murmured, reaching up and wrapping her hand around the back of his neck. "Not like a best friend. Or a brother."_

 _He searched her eyes, the smile on his face slowly dropping from her words._

 _"Maya…"_

 _She wondered briefly if it was stupid to try to change things between them, but at that moment, she no longer cared. Leaning forward, she briefly pressed her lips to his, barely there before backing a little away._

 _"I really like you…" she whispered against his lips._

 _Lucas leaned forward and closed the gap between their lips. She leaned into him, moaning softly as their mouths moved with each other, the intensity of their kiss growing. He curled an arm around her back and tugged her closer until she was pressed flush against him, his hand trailing under her shirt and teasing the skin of her lower back. His tongue slipped between her lips, and she tilted her head, deepening the kiss as she slid a leg between his._

 _Something amazing was happening to her. Something so wonderful and profound that Maya had trouble breathing for a second. This was everything she had been hoping and dreaming for._

 _But when she rubbed her thigh against his arousal, Lucas broke away from her, inhaling sharply and looking a little wild in his eyes._

 _"We can't do this."_

 _Maya blinked in surprise, still a little daze and wondering if he was playing around. "Why not?"_

 _He pushed away from her, unlatching them from each other and sat up, running a hand through his hair._

 _"Because you're my best friend, Maya, and I just—"_

 _"I get it. You're not interested." Maya tried to ignore how sharp the pain in her chest felt._

 _"Maya, that's not it."_

 _"Then what is it?" Maya asked with a frown. "And don't you dare tell me some bullshit like 'you're drunk'. That's not the main reason why seeing as how you kissed me back."_

 _Lucas didn't say anything, and Maya looked away, a lump in her throat that she couldn't seem to swallow down. She understood perfectly well. She'd mistaken everything like the dumbass she was. There had never been any possible chance Lucas was interested in her and now she'd ruined what friendship they'd finally managed to get back up to par. This was all her fault._

 _"You should leave." Maya picked at the frayed edges of the quilt on her bed._

 _"Maya."_

 _"Just go, Lucas. I feel awkward, and I really don't want to talk right now. Goodnight."_

 _Lucas stood up with a sigh, walking towards her window to leave. Before he headed out, he turned around, giving her an apologetic look._

 _"Maya, I care about you okay?" he said. "I just can't…"_

 _Maya said nothing, staring resolutely at her wall and feeling the back of her eyes sting with tears._

 _"I'm sorry, Maya." Lucas said._

 _She heard shuffling behind her as he climbed out and then her window slid softly shut. Maya glanced over her shoulder. Lucas had actually gone._

 _She was so stupid. Of course he had just been helping her. Why did she think he would want to be with her like that?_

 _Now she'd gone and done it._

 _Their friendship really was messed up._

* * *

"Back then, of course, I thought that it was because he wasn't interested in me, and I guess I was mad at him for that. I knew it was stupid to expect someone to like me when they didn't have to, but it hurt. The rejection stung more than I wanted to even admit so I wanted to lash out and get back at him. And I wrecked us even more."

Riley gasped softly in recognition. "Is this when Brett stole your locket?"

"Yeah. And when our friendship got weird again."

And when things got worse.

* * *

 _When Maya got an SOS text from Riley after school, she expected it to be something dopey or stupid like she got her head stuck in a locker again or got her skirt caught in a doorway. With Riley, it could literally be anything typically associated with clumsiness. Maya had almost decided to disregard it, but thought better at the last minute._

 _And it was a good thing she had too._

 _As she rounded the corner near the second floor janitor's closet, she found Riley being pressed up against a corner, her eyes shining with fright in a way Maya had never seen before on her face. Riley never got scared like that. Brett was basically on top of her, a dirty smirk on his face as he spoke lowly, but just loud enough for Maya to hear it down the hall as she approached._

 _"I remember the way you defended me that one time during lunch. How about you let me reward you? I'm sure you'd like a nice stallion for your first time."_

 _"No thank you," Riley said politely, her voice shaking the slightest bit. "I'm flattered, but I'm not interested."_

 _She tried to squeeze past him, but he set a hand on her shoulder, forcing her back into the corner. Riley's eyes widened, her terrified expression now clearly visible on her face. Brett's grin grew._

 _"You don't have to be shy. I'll be gentle with you, baby."_

 _"Let me go…"_

 _"I don't think I want to. I think you need someone to break you in. You know you want it."_

 _Maya's fists clenched and she once again lamented not having her pipe with her to make the creep back off._

 _"What will it take for your dumb ass to leave her alone?"_

 _Brett growled under his breath in annoyance, rolling his eyes as he looked over his shoulder. "This doesn't concern you, bitch."_

 _"It does now since you thought it was a good idea to mess with Riley. Riley's under my protection. You fuck with her, you fuck with me."_

 _Brett let go of Riley and turned around with a glare at Maya. Riley squeezed past him, running behind Maya and standing behind her with a worried look on her face._

 _"I'm getting real sick of seeing your damn face around here."_

 _"Feeling's mutual, you ass." Maya said, preparing herself for if she would have to block a few punches._

 _"Should have thought better than coming to pick a fight again when Lucas isn't here to save your ass."_

 _And before she could react, he grabbed her locket and tugged it sharply, breaking the chain and snatching it away from her. Maya inhaled sharply, hot rage running through her body when she realized he had taken her most precious item. She reached for it, but he lifted it over his head, a sneer on his lips._

 _"So this_ is _important to you. I was wondering why you started wearing this all the time."_

 _"Give it back." Maya growled._

 _"Or what? You'll step on my toes? You'll hop on my back? Ooooh I'm so scared."_

 _He brought his arm down and stared at the locket._

 _"Who the hell is in this thing anyway?" Maya tried not to visibly react when he opened her locket, his jaw dropping as he laughed when he saw the two pictures. "Holy shit! Is this you and Lucas? Are you in love with him or something?"_

 _"No." she said indifferently, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Maya hoped maybe indifference might work, though she felt seriously anxious and part of her—the vulnerable part of her that she tried to keep hidden under lock and key—felt like crying. "And I don't care if you take that stupid thing anyway."_

 _"Then I'll just keep it." Brett grinned. Maya's face fell, her stomach dropping. "Unless you let me have your little virginal little sister."_

 _"Stay the fuck away from Riley, or I swear I'll end you."_

 _"How about a trade? I give you the locket. And you give me Riley."_

 _Riley gasped behind her._

 _"Riley is not some prize to be traded, and she's worth more than some shitty locket." Maya barked. "If you touch a hair on her again or so much as try to bother her again, I mean it. I'm going to come after you with every one of my friends and beat you to a bloody pulp. You'll spend the rest of the year in a full body cast. That's a promise."_

 _Maya turned on her heel and stormed away, grabbing Riley's hand and tugging her behind her. She'd lost her locket but she couldn't worry about that at the moment. Not when Riley was clearly on Brett's radar and he was gunning for her. She had to watch out for Riley before she thought about her locket._

 _"Why is Brett trying to get with you, Riley?" Maya questioned as she pulled her around another corner._

 _"Well, I don't really know, but I was kind of drunk at that party last weekend, and Brett tried to kiss me."_

 _"Did he do anything to you?" she asked anxiously._

 _"No. Brandon scared him away and brought me and Farkle home."_

 _Maya let out a sigh of relief. She owed Brandon so much, not only for watching out for herself and calling Lucas to help, but also keeping watch over Riley and Farkle. She hadn't even asked him to do so._

 _"Riley, I'm teaching you how to defend yourself. People are going to keep targeting you because you're the biggest Cherry Girl at this school so I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen."_

 _"Cherry Girl?" she asked in confusion._

 _"Virgin."_

 _"Oh." Riley's cheeks burned red. "Well, my best friend's name is Farkle. And I'm labeled a nerd. People are going to keep picking on me no matter what."_

 _"Not if I can help it. No one is touching you, or they'll get a steel pipe shoved up their anus."_

 _"Thank you, Maya." Riley smiled serenely. "But what about your locket?"_

 _"It doesn't matter."_

 _But Maya knew she was on the verge of tears. She was fighting them to be strong for Riley, but Maya knew damn well in solitude, she would cry about it. And the worst part was the one person who could help reassure her that it was okay wasn't on good terms with her at the moment. Or at least, she was avoiding him as if her life depended on it._

 _They rounded another corner, and Maya gasped when they nearly ran into Lucas hurrying down the hall in the opposite direction with his duffel bag._

 _"Oh. Sorry." Maya muttered, trying to go around him._

 _"Maya, can we talk?" Lucas sighed. "You're avoiding me."_

 _"Those are some nice detective skills you've got there, Captain Obvious." Maya said sarcastically._

 _Lucas didn't respond, his brows furrowed as he stared at her. Maya gave him a weird look, wondering why he wasn't saying anything and that was when she realized that he wasn't so much staring at_ her _as he was staring at her upper chest. Or rather, staring at what_ wasn't _resting on her upper chest, hanging from a chain._

 _"So you're not wearing your locket now?" Lucas asked, his eyes glinting with anger._

 _Maya averted her gaze. "I don't need it anymore."_

 _"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. "Is this about last weekend?"_

 _"Wait!" Riley piped up. "Maya's locket_ —mmph!"

 _Maya slapped her hand on Riley's mouth, shutting her up before she could finish her statement._

 _"Is gone. I trashed it. Because I don't need it anymore."_

 _Riley blinked at her in shock, rapidly shaking her head. But Maya didn't say anything to change her statement. Taking a deep breath, she slowly glanced at Lucas and the hurt look in his eyes nearly broke her heart. There was nothing but sheer pain in his eyes, pain and anger and something else that looked shattered that made Maya want to curl up into a ball and cry._

 _"I didn't realize I meant that little to you. But I got the picture. Thanks for clarifying, Maya."_

 _He brushed past them and walked on, the expression on his face dark. Maya watched him go, slowly letting her hand drop from Riley's face and fall slack against her side. The back of her eyes stung with tears that she fought with everything she had._

 _"Why would you do that?" Riley exclaimed, "You lied to him! Go tell him the truth before your friendship dies for good!"_

 _"No Riley. This is for the best. Because if he goes after the locket, you'll be in danger."_

 _"Maya that can't be true. Your friendship with Lucas—"_

 _"Won't mean anything if you got hurt for my selfish decisions. This is for the best. This is my fight, not his." Maya smiled at Riley, hoping she couldn't see that her eyes were slowly starting to well with tears. "I don't want you hurt, okay Pumpkin?"_

 _Riley's brows rose in surprise, but then her face settled into a happy grin._

 _"I knew you loved me!"_

 _"Yeah, yeah. You grew on me like a damn tick. Now shut up and come with me. Brandon and I are teaching you basic self-defense because you are targeted way too much."_

 _She swallowed down the sharp pain she kept feeling in her chest._

* * *

"I always had wondered what Lucas meant by 'is this about last weekend'. Was he talking about you trying to make a move that one time?"

"Yeah."

"But I still don't understand why you didn't just tell Lucas the truth about how you were trying to protect me back then? Wouldn't it have saved you a lot of trouble?"

"Because I didn't want Lucas to get into another fight. Because even if he had gotten the locket, what would it have done? We still would have been awkward. I still wouldn't have been able to face him after trying to hook up with him. In my mind, losing the locket was the best course of action to take. It meant letting go of a relationship. Apparently, it meant the same to Lucas which was why he got so mad that day. He thought I was giving up on our relationship and he was angry."

"I remember that. He looked so hurt. I felt so bad for him."

Maya nodded, a small, nostalgic smile on her face. "In the end, it didn't even matter. He still got in a fight to get my locket back."

"What? I didn't know this."

"That's because I left that part out when I told you I got it back." Maya stated. "Truth is, Lucas got the locket back because he fought Brett over it."

"Oh I see. So then Lucas gave it back to you. But why did you guys have issues? Everything should have worked out after that, right? Shouldn't your friendship have gone back to normal? You guys were so weird after you had it back."

"Everything might have gone back to normal if that was all that happened that weekend, Riley…"

But it wasn't.

* * *

 _Maya sniffled, curled up in a ball on her bed, lamenting the loss of her locket._

 _She couldn't sleep. It'd been days since Brett took it and each night without it made her lose more and more hope that she would ever get it back. She couldn't think of what to do to get it back or how. She couldn't figure out a plan that wouldn't end with someone getting hurt and she didn't want to endanger anyone._

 _Maybe she was being melodramatic and crying too much over it, but she needed it._

 _Even if things with her and Lucas were messed up, she still cared about him a lot. Not having the locket he'd given her was heartbreaking. The locket was her comfort when Lucas wasn't around to talk to, and now she had neither. She didn't know what to do. And she was starting to feel lost again._

 _She was jolted out of her reverie when someone banged on her window multiple times. Maya jumped in shock and quickly wiped her eyes with a frown. She got off her bed to see who the hell was knocking on her window at two in the morning, half expecting to see Riley with a batch of brownies as she was oft to do on random occasions._

 _Maya yanked open her blinds and inhaled sharply when she saw Lucas outside her window, smiling with a grimace and holding his abdomen. She unlatched the hook immediately and lifted her window open, stepping back so Lucas could get in._

 _"Lucas? What the fuck?"_

 _He climbed in with a grunt, groaning when he banged his arm on the window sill. Now that he was inside, she could clearly see that he was really injured. There was a lot of dried blood on his face from a cut on his eyebrow. He had a bruise forming right under one of his eyes and his lip was also split. He was favouring his left arm and kind of dragging his feet, wincing with each step he took._

 _"I might need some first aid," he chuckled, smiling sheepishly._

 _"It's not funny! Why are you hurt?"_

 _Maya grabbed Lucas and pushed him towards her attached bathroom, not just to help him, but also because if they stayed in her room, Shawn might hear the noise and wake up. She flicked on the lights and then forced him to sit down on her closed toilet. Maya rummaged silently through her medicine cabinet before she pulled out her first aid kit, checking to see if she still had some stuff to take care of wounds. She'd used a lot from when she used to get in fights, but thankfully, there seemed to be enough to take care of Lucas._

 _"Maya…" Lucas reached up in concern, wiping away a tear that had been trailing down her cheek. "You've been crying."_

 _She glared at him, slapping his hand off of her and forcing his chin up sharply with a raised, irritated brow._

 _"What the fuck happened to you?" she hissed. "Did you get in a fight? You look like roadkill!"_

 _"You should see the other guy." Lucas joked, then winced when Maya put pressure on his chin with her nails._

 _"The other guy being?"_

 _"Brett. I saw he had your locket when he was giving me shit for being in it." Lucas answered, his gaze serious as he stared up at her. Maya's breath hitched in her chest, and she let go of his face as if it burned her. "I know why you said what you said back then. You were protecting Riley and me because you knew I'd go after him to get it back."_

 _"Why the hell did you fight him? You could have gotten seriously hurt!"_

 _Lucas didn't respond, only staring at her, and Maya shook her head in annoyance, opening the kit and wetting some paper to clean him up. She carefully dabbed at the cuts on his face, cleaning off the blood and disinfecting the scrapes and cuts with the diluted hydrogen peroxide solution._

 _"I mean look at you! You look like someone used you as a punching bag, and that isn't even accounting for the fact that you clearly could have some internal damage. Are you holding your ribs?"_

 _"Maya."_

 _"Are you dumb as hell too? Why would you even go through all that trouble in the first place? What good does it do if you get beaten to a pulp? It's not worth it. It isn't worth anyone getting hurt and you should have just let it go."_

 _She didn't realize her hands had been shaking until Lucas stilled her hand, taking it in his own as he gazed up at her._

 _"I did it because you're my best friend. And I love you, Maya."_

 _"I love you too, Lucas, but is getting fucked up really worth it for a locket?"_

"Maya."

 _His tone made her stop, clamming up and staring at him. There was something in his gaze that told her she knew exactly what he was about to say._

 _"What?"_

 _"Not like that. Not like best friends. And not like a brother. I'm in love with you."_

 _Maya's eyes widened, her heart near exploding as it pounded hard in her chest. Her breathing grew shaky, butterflies dancing in her stomach at his words._

 _"W-what?"_

 _"I've been in love with you since the first grade. That night we kissed after the party, I didn't want to go farther with you because I knew it would destroy us. I was terrified that it would wreck what we worked so hard to get back."_

 _Maya was speechless, her pulse racing as she felt her eyes start to well with tears again._

 _"I didn't want you to feel like I used you. Like you were just another notch on my belt. I was scared to take a step with you like that, because it was all so possible and real, and I didn't want us to burn out if I messed things up. If we're going to do this, I want to commit to it for real. You and me. Because I'm in love with my best friend. That's why I fought Brett."_

 _He'd gone all out to try to get back something important to her when he could have gotten seriously injured, despite his chances of success being low. The gesture he'd made was the most heartwarming thing she'd ever felt in her life._

 _"Lucas, it doesn't matter if I have the locket or not, okay? I want to be with you. With or without it. Yes, it sucks I don't have it anymore, but it's not worth it if you got hurt over it." She cradled his face in her hands, sniffling softly with a small laugh. "I'm in love with my best friend too. Having a locket or not isn't going to change that."_

 _He smiled playfully._

 _"Damn. After all the trouble I went through to get it back, apparently it doesn't matter."_

 _Maya gasped softly as Lucas reached into his pocket and pulled out the locket, dangling it between them with a smile._

 _"You got it back."_

 _"Brett won't be bothering you or Riley anymore, I can guarantee you that much. If he does, I'm going to finish the job I started," Lucas said darkly. "And I gave this to you. It should be with its proper owner."_

 _He tugged her closer by the front of her shirt, and slowly, he reached up and put the locket back around her neck, clasping it behind her neck before brushing her hair out of the way._

 _"There. All better. So stop crying now, Shortstack. I can't stomach your tears."_

 _Maya's heart was galloping in her chest as he smiled warmly up at her. She didn't know how to respond. She had nothing to say to that._

 _So Maya bent down and kissed him fervently, tugging him closer to her by his collar. He held her by her hips, kissing her just as soundly, just as urgently in that bathroom. It was just her and him. Intense, heady, and Maya whimpered into the kiss, her heart tightening in her chest. A shiver ran down her spine when Lucas moaned from somewhere deep in his chest into her mouth._

 _She really loved him. She loved him so much it was almost suffocating her._

 _Lucas yanked Maya to him as he stood up, hoisting her up with his good arm. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved them out of the bathroom, one hand tangled in his hair, the other trying frantically to unbutton his shirt._

 _Somehow, they ended up on her bed, locked in a tight embrace. His lips on her neck, trailing down to her collarbone as he unbuttoned her night shirt. Her hands slipping underneath his shirt, running down his back as ground against her._

 _"Lucas, what are we doing?" Maya asked breathlessly, tilting her head to give Lucas more access._

 _"I don't know." He lifted his head, and what was in his gaze made her heart flip in her chest. "Let's just see where it takes us."_

 _Maya sincerely hoped her parents couldn't hear what was going on in her bedroom that night._

* * *

"So you guys…?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow…"

"Mmhmm."

Riley stared at her in shock. "Well that explains why you were asking Brandon for advice that one time."

"Yeah. It had to do with a lot more than just dating."

"Did you two get caught that night?"

"No," Maya chuckled, "but Shawn kept giving me weird looks like he knew what we had been up to."

"Ouch."

"He was very protective after that. Lucas couldn't really sneak into my room anymore because Shawn was like a bloodhound regarding him."

"Did you guys become a couple after that?"

"Yes and no. In a way, sleeping with each other destroyed us. Or at least, what we had been. Both in good and bad ways."

"So you didn't know what you were at that point."

"No. And that's why we had even more issues. Or rather… _I_ had the issues."

* * *

 _Maya wanted to say she and Lucas were "dating" after the night they spent together, but the truth was they weren't._

 _Not even close._

 _Maya was too engraved in her social image. Even though she had no qualms being Lucas' friend in public, truth was, she drew the line when he wanted to kiss her or even hold hands. She wound up trying to hide their relationship and pretended like they were nothing but just friends. She knew it annoyed Lucas, and it made things awkward when Maya wouldn't correct people hitting on her that she already had a boyfriend._

 _It was like nothing had really changed to be honest, although in private they absolutely couldn't be mistaken as anything_ but _a couple._

 _To an extent, Lucas also wanted to keep his relationship with Maya partially hidden too, but his reasoning was that he didn't want her to be harassed by some of the other popular people at school and some of the nastier cheerleaders as well as some other girls he'd slept with who couldn't seem to take a hint that he wasn't interested._

 _But Maya's reason was because she didn't want to risk her reputation. She'd spent years building up her cred with the people she knew. Years becoming something like a mentor to those other younger rebels. She and Brandon were basically the leaders of their friend group. The last thing she wanted to be seen as was a sellout. She didn't want her reputation to diminish because she was dating someone "mainstream". Someone the other rebels wouldn't consider dating material considering their interests. Her and Lucas? They just didn't work. A rebel and a jock dating sounded as preposterous in her mind as it looked written on paper._

 _She was being a coward, she knew._

 _And Lucas wasn't happy with it at all._

 _"So how long are you going to keep up this secret boyfriend thing?" Lucas asked as he tugged on his jeans, glancing at her over his shoulder with an irritated raised brow. "It's been a month, Maya. Don't you think it's time we went public with our relationship?"_

 _Maya bristled, stopping in finger combing her hair. She stared down at her comforter, chewing her lower lip with furrowed brows._

 _"What's wrong with the way things are now?" she asked, slightly defensive._

 _He'd been bringing up that question every once in a while for the past couple of days, and Maya knew he was starting to get fed up with her behaviour. But she didn't want to go public._

 _"You know damn well what the problem is." Lucas muttered under his breath as he yanked his shirt from the ground._

 _"No, I don't see a problem, actually." Maya responded, pulling her top back on. "Enlighten me."_

 _"Fine." Lucas growled. "You know what the problem is? I just don't feel like we're in a relationship. And I don't see the point in us being together if you're too ashamed to be seen with me."_

 _"Ashamed? That's a pretty strong word."_

 _"Well that's what it is, isn't it? You're too ashamed to be seen with me. You don't want to risk losing your cred with the rebels by being with me. That's shame, Maya."_

 _"…That's not… That's not it, Lucas."_

 _But she knew that was exactly it, though she would use the word scared over the word ashamed._

 _Lucas sighed. "Maya, what are we?"_

 _"We're…"_

 _She fell silent, unsure how to answer his loaded question._

 _"Exactly. We're not just friends anymore. But we're definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend either at this point. And we're certainly not 'dating' because we have to actually go out and do things as a couple for us to be dating. Which we don't." Lucas stated angrily. "But you never want to go out as a couple because you don't want to be seen by people you know. The only thing we do is hang out at each other's places and have sex. We're not a couple. I don't know why you're so scared for whatever reason, but do you see me caring what my friends will think if I date_ you?"

 _"What is that supposed to mean?" Maya's eyes narrowed._

 _He shrugged. "Look, you don't exactly have the best reputation at school either. You're the rebel chick and I'm pretty sure most people still think you give blowjobs for money. And I'm the partying jock, but none of the social group differences matter to me because I just want to be with you, Maya. I thought you wouldn't care either. You have no problems being my best friend. Why is this so different?"_

 _Maya looked away. "It's one thing to be open friends in school, but Lucas… I just… Can you try to see it my way?"_

 _He nodded, an annoyed glint in his eyes. "It's not that hard to see. You choose your reputation over me."_

 _"Lucas."_

 _"And I think maybe this was a bad idea. We should call it quits before it breaks us."_

 _"I don't want to end this."_

 _"You mean you don't want to end the sex."_

 _"If you're implying that I'm using you just for sex, then you're wrong." Maya snapped._

 _"Then you need to figure out what exactly it is you want. Because you and I clearly want two different things. Until then, consider us just friends."_

 _He left her room, and Maya groaned, running a hand through her hair in exasperation. How the hell was it that the evening started off so well and ended up like that?_

 _Great. Just great._

* * *

"I was ruining us Riley. I never realized it all along, but it had always been me. Every time. Every problem we had. Always me."

"Oh Maya." Riley said softly, reaching over and taking her hand.

Maya sniffled. "No wonder Lucas wants someone else now. I ruined us multiple times if you think about it. And this wasn't even the last time."

"But every time you messed up, didn't you guys fix it? Like after this fight. Didn't you fix the problem when we were at lunch and you asked us what to do?"

"It took me about two weeks to even get the courage to ask for advice. I can only imagine what had been going through Lucas' mind during that whole time. And neither of us were even trying to act as friends either so yet again, we lost our friendship because I was stupid."

"This was way more complicated than I realized back then."

"Tell me about it…"

* * *

 _"Riley, you're at the wrong table." Maya said, giving Riley a weird look when she plopped down next to Brandon with her lunch and a bright, cheerful grin. Other people in the cafeteria were giving her strange looks for being a nerd breaching the invisible table lines for social groupings. "In case you didn't notice."_

 _"No, I'm not." Riley responded, shaking up her orange juice. "I'm sitting with my sister for lunch because she's graduating this year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible. And she just so happens to be sitting at a table with other people with her similar interests."_

 _"Right, anyway…" Brandon turned back to Maya. "Hart, if you like Friar, you shouldn't give a damn what other people think. The more you act like you're ashamed of your relationship, the more issues you'll have. Even in your friendship, though I think you both have completely obliterated that friendship line by now. Think about what it's like for him. He loves you and wants to give you a chance to see how much he does, and you're acting like your relationship is a taboo. What do you think is going through his mind right now?"_

 _"I can't imagine…"_

 _Brandon smirked. "Gonna be honest—"_

 _"I don't want you to be."_

 _"—he probably wants to break up with you for good right about now."_

 _Maya glowered at him in annoyance._

 _"You know…" Riley piped up, pensively rubbing her chin. "Your dilemma is as easy as sitting wherever you want at lunch, Maya."_

 _They stared at her in confusion, wondering what exactly she was getting at because she really wasn't making much sense at the moment._

 _"It's not that hard to figure out." Riley giggled at the looks on their faces. "If your relationship can't fit in the world that other people have created, then make your own world for yourselves and put the people you want in it. That's how I live my life. It used to be just me and Farkle but it's expanding now with each day."_

 _Maya's brows rose, a little shocked by her declaration._

 _"Surprisingly deep, Matthews." Brandon said with a nod. "Respect."_

 _"Thank you, Brandon, whatever your last name is," Riley said cheerfully. "I have my moments. Not just a nerd in overalls."_

 _"You guys are right." Maya muttered._

 _"Of course we are. Make the world your own, Maya. That's what my daddy always tells me."_

 _Brandon rose a brow, looking at Riley in amusement. "Your_ daddy? _Aren't you seventeen?"_

 _Riley blushed, glowering at him. "Be quiet."_

 _Brandon smirked, shaking his head in mirth. "In any case, she's right, Hart. You're best friends with your squirrel of a sister, aren't you?"_

 _"Hey!" Riley cried indignantly._

 _"Yeah…" Maya muttered._

 _"And nobody seems to care that a dangerous, chill rebel is best friends with a hyper, good girl nerd, do they?"_

 _"I guess not." Maya said, realizing he was right._

 _"So why would they care if you're sleeping with, dating, or whatever with a popular jock? Who cares what you do? If anyone has something to say about it, we've got your back." Brandon rose a brow. "Do you really want to spend the rest of this year regretting not being with the guy you love all because you were scared of what a handful of irrelevant people you won't see ever again in four months have to say? That sure sounds ridiculous to me. And even if they do care, they'll get over it eventually."_

 _And suddenly Maya knew exactly what she had to do. She stood up from her table, feeling excitement course through her veins._

 _"I need to find, Lucas." Maya said, "Riley, I can't give you a ride home today. I'll probably be with him."_

 _"That's okay. You need to be with your boyfriend," Riley said, chipper as always. "Farkle isn't at school today, but I can just catch a ride from you, right Brandon?"_

 _He gave her a weird look. "I ride a motorcycle. You sure your_ daddy _won't flip a shit?"_

 _"He'll definitely flip." Riley shrugged. "But there's nothing he can do about it if it already happened."_

 _"Alright then."_

 _"Thanks Brand. I owe you one." Maya said in relief. "I'll see you guys later, okay?"_

 _"Check the locker rooms. I think his class should be done with gym by now." Brandon called out as she began to leave._

 _"How the hell do you know that?"_

 _"Because I should be in that class right now."_

 _"Right." Maya snorted._

 _And Maya took off out of the cafeteria and down the hallways to get to the locker room near the gym. She was going to find Lucas. She was going to find him and end this dating charade once and for all and commit to this thing one hundred percent. Lucas didn't deserve this half-assed attempt at a relationship from her. Not when he meant so much to her. He deserved to either be let go completely so he could find someone more willing or for Maya to give her all in the relationship._

 _And Maya would give it her all._

 _She ran through the halls in her heels, ignoring teacher requests for her to stop running and nearly bowling over people heading to lunch, but she couldn't care less. Her heart was jumping wildly in her chest and all she could think about was finally getting the chance to openly show how much she truly cared about Lucas._

 _Maya reached the locker room, and burst through the doors, walking in as if she owned the place and ignoring the yelps from naked guys changing back into their clothes after their showers._

 _"What the fuck?!"_

 _"There's a chick in here!"_

 _It was amusing to see some of these guys jump and scramble to hide or cover their junk, but Maya didn't care. She was on a mission._

 _"Where is Lucas Friar?" Maya barked._

 _"Around that corner! Jesus woman!"_

 _Maya walked through the silent locker room, ignoring the flabbergasted and partially frightened stares of the guys, heading around to the other set of lockers._

 _Lucas was standing in front of his locker in a towel, glancing over his shoulder and wondering what all the commotion had been about. His brows rose in surprise when he saw Maya as she approached. He turned around completely, looking absolutely floored._

 _"Maya, what are you—"_

 _She walked right up to him, grabbed his face and rose to her tiptoes, swallowing his words with her kiss and pouring everything she had into it. Her apology, her love for him, her desire to do this thing for real. Lucas stiffened briefly, stumbling a bit backwards and falling back against the lockers with a bang. But he relaxed and leaned into her, sliding his arms around her waist and dragging her closer to him as he matched her urgency._

 _She'd missed this. She'd missed him. His scent, the taste of his mouth, how his arms felt around her, how warm his body was._

 _Maya broke away with a crude pop, sucking his lower lip in between her teeth before she let it go completely. She was a little out of breath as she gazed up at him, more turned on than she could even imagine. Her body was buzzing with electricity, hypersensitive, and very aware of every inch of her body pressed up against Lucas'._

 _Lucas licked his lips, stunned, staring at her in astonishment. It amused Maya that she could feel his slight arousal through his towel._

 _"What was that for?" Lucas asked, his breathing also a little harsh. "Not that I'm complaining, but…"_

 _"Let's make the world our own, Huckleberry," Maya said breathlessly with a smile, leaning closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I don't need my reputation. Let's make the world ours and put whoever we want into it."_

 _"Maya? You okay?" Lucas looked utterly confused, and Maya realized she was babbling. "What are you talking about?"_

 _"I love you, Ranger Rick. And I don't care anymore about the whole reputation thing. I'm sorry for trying to hide our relationship for so long. I just want to be with you. If you still want me, that is."_

 _He smiled. "I still want you. I always will."_

 _"So can we start the story of Lucas and Maya now?"_

 _"Our story started when I became your dog in the first grade, Shortstack."_

 _Maya chuckled and then leaned up, meeting Lucas halfway in another mind-numbing kiss that only served to remind her just how much she truly loved him._

 _News about their apparent relationship spread like wildfire after the impromptu little show in the locker room, and before the lunch period even ended, the whole school knew that Lucas Friar and Maya Hart were together._

 _As they walked through school hand in hand, surprisingly, no one that mattered objected to them being a couple._

 _And anyone who gave them a hard time?_

 _Well, they didn't care._

* * *

Riley laughed. "I heard about that locker incident. I remember the stories that kept circulating about how you burst right into the boys' locker room and nearly gave a bunch of guys heart attacks."

"One of my highlights of high school, sadly." Maya chuckled. "Although I will tell you, the sight of all that genitalia was kind of unpleasant."

Riley's nose wrinkled in disgust. "TMI."

"Sorry. I forgot you're still Cherry Girl."

"I haven't heard that one in years." Riley said with a nostalgic look on her face. "But anyway, I thought things went great with you guys."

"High school to college was great. I think those years were the best our relationship had ever been. But from there, it all went downhill."

"I thought you two stayed together through college and broke up when Lucas went to vet school."

"Not quite. Yes, we officially ended things when we graduated, but it was a little more complicated than what I told you. We were together for a while. And we were fine, but a high school relationship was one thing. And college had always been a different story. Especially because we pictured our lives going different ways and we couldn't reconcile the two."

"What did you do?"

Maya smiled melancholically.

"What every couple does when they can no longer connect their lives…"

* * *

 _Maya had had a feeling that college wouldn't be the same. That it would be yet another new obstacle in their relationship. She and Lucas went to NYU together but college had a way of changing them. They were okay at the beginning, but as expected, things got harder._

 _Maya got a wilder after she befriended a fellow good time gal named Missy, partying more and not taking school seriously, finding it to be a terrible bore since her interests had always lied solely with art. She, like Missy, never saw the point in spending money for a college education when her goals for the future didn't necessarily need a degree._

 _Lucas, on the other hand, befriended a particularly school intensive and fellow pre-vet student named Sarah and mellowed out, losing his partying edge and became even more serious about school. He played baseball and was dead-set on becoming a vet, so as a student athlete with a biology major on a pre-vet track, he was pretty busy. He disapproved of Maya's behaviour, finding her frequent partying daunting and irresponsible._

 _Lucas wanted them to be more like adults in college. Maya wanted to hold on to their youth for as long as possible._

 _And as expected, the differences took their toll on their relationship._

 _It drove a wedge between them that only grew worse as the years continued on. They were strong in early college, but much like their friendship in high school, come junior year, things began to regress to the point they both wanted out. They both realized they hadn't been romantic in a while, and it was beginning to feel like a chore to be in a relationship and do the necessary relationship things._

 _They both began to feel that they'd been trying to continue to force a relationship. And on top of that, their lives were converging, and they really didn't have the time for each other nor did they feel like making any efforts to maintain their relationship._

 _So it didn't come as a surprise when Lucas came over to her dorm room one evening with a grim look on his face. Maya was hungover and barely awake as he stood in her doorway, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. His decision to remain in the hallway notwithstanding, Maya could tell what he had come here for from a mile away. She knew it had been a long time coming, especially since the last time they'd actually had sex or gone on any sort of date was weeks ago._

 _"Listen… Maya…"_

 _"You think we should break up." She finished for him, since clearly he was having some trouble finishing his statement._

 _He nodded, looking apologetic. "I just feel like we're going two different places and this whole relationship is starting to feel forced."_

 _"No, I get it." Maya let out a long sigh. "I've been feeling the same way too."_

 _"I would rather we end things on a good note while we're still friends before we start fighting instead of ending things sour and no longer being able to talk." Lucas continued. "I've seen how some friends end up after dating. No longer being able to hang out together. Barely talking. I don't want that with you. Because you're still my best friend."_

 _Maya nodded with a smile, wrapping her hand around the comforting locket._

 _"Yeah. I agree. And I guess we should just let whatever happen, happen?" Maya suggested. "If we're meant to be, we'll find each other again someday."_

 _Lucas stared at her, his gaze tinged with something a little melancholic and sorrowful. Maya knew she probably had the same look on her face._

 _"So that's the end?"_

 _"I guess so… But promise me—no matter what happens—we'll always remain best friends, Huckleberry."_

 _"I promise, Shortstack."_

 _"Seal it with a kiss?" Maya said playfully, though her eyes were stinging with tears._

 _"Of course."_

 _He leaned down and kissed Maya gently. It was chaste, and it was sweet._

 _It also had the distinct taste of a goodbye._

 _She and Lucas had been together for more than half of college. Losing him as a boyfriend did hurt because their relationship had always been important to her. It had by far been the first and most serious longterm relationship with a guy that she'd ever had and losing it was painful. But she wasn't bitter that they'd broken up. And though Maya did cry a little bit after he left, she knew it was for the best, and she was glad that they had at least parted on amicable terms._

 _For the first time since coming to NYU, Lucas Friar and Maya Hart were finally single._

* * *

"Did you still love him? Romantically, I mean." Riley asked.

Maya nodded, watching as a jogger ran by with her dog. "Of course I did. We both did. But we were both too scared to try to fight for our relationship. We gave up too easily and too soon at the first sign of trouble because things had been sailing smoothly up until then. And we got scared and panicked and ended things even though we weren't ready to."

Riley sighed, nodding in understanding.

"I just didn't realize it because I was distracted by things in life." Maya continued. "I had always thought the feelings were totally platonic, but I never really stopped loving him, you know? I think the distance made me want him back more. But I didn't go about it the right way. And I still only thought it was because I was craving companionship."

"What happened between you guys?"

"What do you think happened? I ruined things again…"

* * *

 _It was a moment of weakness really._

 _Maya had felt used and ridiculous for believing Richard was any kind of decent guy. But hell, when you meet a guy wasted off your ass at a damn frat party, of course he wouldn't necessarily be boyfriend material._

 _Maya was usually better about picking out who was good for her and who wasn't, but she'd been a little careless and distracted, dating guy after guy and still partially reeling from the end of her relationship with Lucas. Sure, they still texted and talked, but even before their breakup, they'd already been drifting and they both still had their own lifestyles. She knew he was a phone call away anytime she wanted to hang out, but something told her they needed some distance, though she couldn't really pinpoint why._

 _She had meant to call Missy, ask her if she wanted to gather some of their other friends and go out so she could forget about her cheating bastard of an ex by drowning out her sorrows in alcohol. But she'd gotten distracted by Lucas' number and called him instead, blubbering to him that she needed company and especially his support. It took him a while to arrive, but when he'd walked into her dorm room, his jaw was clenched and he had an angry gleam in his eyes._

 _"Are you okay, Maya?" he asked in concern, sitting next her and pulling her into his side to comfort her._

 _"What took you long?" Maya asked, leaning her head on his shoulder, annoyed that so much time had passed since she called him to come over. She'd gone through two whole episodes of Seinfeld before he had finally arrived. "And why are your knuckles so red?"_

 _"I tracked Richard down and punched him in the face for doing that to you," Lucas said matter of factly. "That's beside the point. Are you okay?"_

 _She was now. Maya stared at Lucas, her heart beating a little hard in her chest. Why couldn't all guys be like Lucas?_

 _Before she could think better of it, Maya leaned up, cupping his cheek and pressing her lips firmly to his. Lucas stiffened entirely, his eyes widening before he pulled away, leaning far away from her in alarm._

 _"Maya. I know you're upset about the breakup, but I don't think this is a good idea."_

 _But the only thing on her mind was how much she really wanted to forget. And who better to help than Lucas?_

 _"So what? Are you seeing someone?"_

 _Lucas frowned. "No, but…"_

 _"So what's the problem? I know you want this as much as I do. Can we please just fuck? I don't care."_

 _"Maya… I_ do _care, though. You're going to regret this."_

 _"The only thing I'm going to regret…" Maya muttered as she pulled her top over her head and tossed it in a corner of the room behind her. She pushed Lucas backwards on her bed, climbing on his lap and straddling him before leaning down, her hair hanging around them like a curtain. "Is if I don't get fucked right now."_

 _He stared up at her, searching her eyes for something Maya didn't know. She didn't really care. Lucas was there and he was available and all she needed right now was for him to give it to her good and hard._

 _She leaned down and closed the gap between them, and this time, he slid a hand in her hair and kissed her back._

* * *

"That was pretty much how things went with us from then on. We hooked up several times over the course of the remainder of our undergraduate career. Several, _several_ times. I thought it was more out of habit than anything else for me at first, but by the time I realized the truth, Lucas was done with me."

Maya shook her head in disgust.

"You should have seen me. Every time I broke up with a boyfriend, I crawled back to Lucas. Every time Lucas was single, I dragged him back to me. I sunk my claws into him and tried to keep him around for my selfish needs. Because I didn't want anyone else to have Lucas."

"But you can't beat yourself up about it. You were acting on deeper feelings you didn't recognize."

"It doesn't excuse my behaviour. I treated him like a dog, Riley. I used him and took advantage of him because I always wanted him around so I could have him whenever I wanted, but I didn't make any efforts to reconcile us as a couple. I never gave him a chance to try to move on."

"What did you consider your relationship?"

"At that point, I don't know. But I ruined us, Riley. I didn't realize each time it happened, Lucas was falling deeper and deeper. It was my fault for the reason why we ended up destroyed. The day we graduated, I ended things officially. I all but told him he was good for killing time, and I needed a real relationship now. I never realized Lucas didn't want it to go that way. I wasn't even listening when he got mad at me, and I dismissed what he was saying. I never even considered what he wanted. I was only thinking of myself." Maya sniffled. "I was an idiot, and he distanced himself from me. He distanced himself from everything having to do with me. And then he left New York and transferred to a vet school in Texas."

"Wait. That's why he left? I thought it was just because he had a great opportunity for work in Austin once he got his license."

"That's what I told you because I was so embarrassed to say that we'd been hooking up." Maya shook her head, holding the old locket in her hand with a distraught smile. "He was at Cornell's vet school, Riley. That had been his original plan so we could still be close with each other. When we were dating, we made a plan for us to live in New York so we could always be near each other. But that changed when I ruined us."

"Did he leave immediately?"

"No, he left a year after we graduated from NYU, the year you graduated from Yale. This was around the time that you decided to take a few years off of school to figure out your life back in New York."

"When you started dating Jeremy?"

Maya nodded. "I never recognized the signs. Like I said, I didn't pay attention when Lucas didn't want to know anything about my new relationship. And then he was gone. Things got worse. _Years_ went by when he wasn't even talking to me anymore and deep down, I knew why. But I still refused to acknowledge his pain."

Riley's eyes widened in recognition. "And then you got engaged."

"And then I got engaged."

* * *

 _"How many karats for the gold?" Farkle asked in awe, holding Maya's hand nimbly as he stared at the ring._

 _"Exactly twenty-four," Maya said excitedly, bragging just a little bit. "Jeremy went all out for me. I can't ask for a more attentive guy."_

 _"I'm the maid of honour, right?" Riley said faux indignantly, sipping on her macchiato. "Because I will fight whoever is trying to take that spot."_

 _"Don't worry, Riley. That spot isn't in danger of being taken by anyone."_

 _"Except maybe Lucas." Farkle said._

 _"Drat…" Riley said dejectedly. "I can't fight him! He'll snap me like a twig!"_

 _Maya stiffened, chuckling nervously. Lucas could definitely have been her maid of honour._

 _If they were still talking, that is._

 _"How did he react when you told him?" Riley asked curiously._

 _Maya stared at the street outside, pretending to be fixated on something if only to avoid their gazes._

 _"Umm… I haven't really talked to him in a couple weeks or so." She toyed with the locket around her neck, feeling comfort from the worn metal despite the fact that her heart felt pretty heavy. "He's pretty busy as a vet and stuff."_

 _A major understatement since they hadn't spoken in about five years by that point. Maya knew she should have just let Riley know the truth, but honestly, she was a little embarrassed with the fallout, and she didn't want to answer Riley's almost certain thousand questions about the details behind the fallout. And that would mean telling her about the hookups. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about that. And quite frankly, she didn't want Riley to start trying to fix them once again._

 _Maya knew very well that their relationship had fallen apart for good. It would take a lot more than Riley's misguided meddling to heal the tears in their relationship, whatever it was now._

 _They lost contact over the years, though Maya never stopped wearing the locket and never stopped asking Lucas' mother how he was doing. She knew when he'd gotten his vet license years ago, but she hadn't expected him to tell her, and he hadn't. Honestly, it was like high school all over again, where the only things she heard from him were through other people with whom he kept in touch._

 _"Oh. Well I would have thought you would tell him as soon as you got engaged." Riley frowned. "Are you going to tell him soon?"_

 _Maya smiled, hoping neither Riley nor Farkle could see the lie through it or the fact that she was sure it wasn't reaching her eyes._

 _"Of course! He's my best friend, isn't he?"_

* * *

"Did you ever actually tell him? You had to have told him otherwise you would still be with Jeremy, right?"

"If only it were that simple."

"So you didn't tell him?"

"No, I never did tell him, Riley. I couldn't find the courage." Maya bunched up the material of her dress in her fists. "Because I loved Jeremy. But I loved Lucas too. And I knew telling Lucas I was engaged would cut all of our ties completely. And I was too scared to do that. I couldn't. Because part of me was clinging on to some hope that I'd get Lucas back."

"So what happened?"

"Eventually Lucas did find out from his mother. And he confronted me."

* * *

 _"Thank you." Maya said politely to the usher that opened the door of the cab._

 _She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her coat, staring up at the entrance of JQA High and letting out a long sigh. It'd been a while since she had last been here at all._

 _Jeremy had asked Maya if she wanted him to cancel his business trip to Boston and come to her reunion with her, but she'd declined. If she was being totally honest, her reasoning lied mostly with the fact that Lucas could possibly be there, and she wasn't sure she wanted Jeremy to be there if she reunited with Lucas. It wasn't like she had lingering feelings for Lucas or anything, but she knew seeing him would stir up forgotten memories and desires that she had tried to push to the back of her mind._

 _Taking a deep breath, Maya walked inside the school, gathering her courage with each step as she followed the signs guiding her to the gym. The place had been renovated since she graduated ten years ago, and Maya was honestly pretty impressed by the renewed facilities. She could remember when an entire wing of the school had been shut down her senior year because of a leaked pipe that flooded the halls. They'd done a nice job upgrading the school._

 _She could hear music blasting through the stereo as she neared the gym, and Maya steeled her nerves as she approached._

 _"Maya?"_

 _She walked over to the check in table outside the gym with a smile._

 _"Hey Amber."_

 _"I knew it was you the moment I saw the locket. Can't believe you're still wearing it even after all these years." Amber stood up and leaned over the table and gave Maya a hug. Maya returned it, though she was chuckling nervously. "I love that haircut. You look amazing! But no leather jacket or rusted steel pipe?"_

 _"Thanks, you look great too." Maya laughed. "And I left them at home. Kind of outgrew the whole dangerous intimidation thing. My eyes do the trick now."_

 _"Finally perfected the evil eye look, huh?" Amber gestured to the name tag stickers scattered on the table as she took Maya's coat. "Here, let me go take your coat to the closet. Sorry this got so disorganized so fast, but they're in alphabetical order based on last name. Feel free to join the others inside."_

 _Maya skimmed the names, going straight to 'H' to try to find her own. She found Hart and picked it up, placing the sticky name tag on her chest. And then she found her gaze going back through the names, looking for Friar to see if he might possibly already be inside. She_ was _particularly late for the event after all. His name tag was still there in the piles of 'F' though, and Maya tried to tell herself she wasn't disappointed that he was a no show as of now._

 _She gently patted her cheeks to snap out of it. She didn't come here just to see Lucas. She had to stop thinking about him._

 _Maya walked into the gym, her head held high as she looked around at the decorated gymnasium. The balloons and streamers attached to every surface and the people chatting around various parts of the gym floor. She made a beeline for the punch table, deciding she could do for a little bit of spiked punched (because face it, she knew the punch would have a little vodka kick added to it). It made her heart swell in her chest to see the people she had spent at least four years in school with. Even though she hadn't been friends with many of them, it was kind of a throwback to those days. She recognized many of them, despite how much older they looked or seemed._

 _People were all so different._

 _"Well, well. I never thought I would see the day when Maya Hart waltzed back into my life." Brett Michaels said as he approached._

 _He was a lot taller and broader than she remembered, though the smarmy grin was exactly the same. Maya smiled tightly when she realized he reeked of booze. What kind of dumb breed of male came to a high school reunion wasted off their mind?_

 _"Brett. Exactly the face I could have gone forever not seeing again and still be perfectly fine."_

 _He laughed. "It's good to see you. My wife is a big fan of your art gallery's pieces. Great stuff. Great stuff."_

 _"Thank you." Maya took a sip of her punch and almost recoiled in surprise. Whatever person made the refreshments definitely went a little heavy on the liquor. "How's life for you? What do you do?"_

 _"Oh me? I'm a gym teacher here at JQA."_

 _"How ya holdin' up with the teens?"_

 _Maya sure as hell knew how difficult most of the high schoolers had been when she'd been a student. She could only imagine what it was like for him._

 _"Half the time I want to toss 'em in a dumpster." Brett leaned closer, and Maya frowned when she realized his gaze had dropped to the front of her dress. "So, enough idle chitchat. What do you say to a quickie in the bathroom, huh? I always wanted to do you in high school, you know. Hot rebel chick with the fantastic legs. You're still sexy as hell. What do you say?"_

 _Her face dropped, and she glared at him. Maybe people weren't so different after all._

 _"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Maya snarled, taking a step back from him. "You're married, you dumbass."_

 _"Eh, it was worth a try." He shrugged, taking another gulp of his drink and clearly not caring either way. He gestured to her left hand. "Seems like you tied the knot too. Lucas finally stopped hooking up with other people and put a ring on ya?"_

 _"…I'm not engaged to Lucas, actually." Maya said quietly, her hand wrapped around her locket._

 _"Huh. That's weird."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Well, life blows if you get married to the wrong person. I would know."_

 _"Why the hell are you telling me?"_

 _"Because I always thought you and Lucas were supposed to get married, is all. Weren't you guys together through college?"_

 _She'd always thought so too if she was perfectly honest._

 _"Most of it. Anyway, what did you mean by Lucas stopped hooking up with other people?"_

 _Brett snorted. "You mean you don't know about Lucas' frequent one night stands?"_

 _Maya's face fell. "Lucas has frequent one night stands?"_

 _"Even worse than back when we were in high school." Brett laughed. "I don't know what the fuck happened to him, but I think he's lost it. Must have been some girl who broke his heart really badly for him to regress like that when he'd made a clean break from that kind of lifestyle. Anyway, it's good to see you, Maya. If you ever do want a whirl with me, just lemme know. I'll be here all night."_

 _Brett walked off to greet another ex-football player for JQA who had walked in, but Maya was frozen in place, the hand holding her drink shaking slightly. I'd been years since she'd ended the whole them sleeping together thing._ Years. _It could have been any girl really. But she couldn't help but feel like she was the reason why._

 _"Hey Hart."_

 _Maya turned around, smiling when Brandon walked up to her._

 _"Brandon." She hugged him tightly. They still kept in touch to keep up with each other's lives, but the last time she'd truly seen him was about two years ago before she'd spent a year in Nice. "Thank God you're here. I thought I would be stuck talking to these lame brains the whole night."_

 _"Nope." He chuckled. "You got me too, babe."_

 _"How have you been?"_

 _"Bored. The usual. My old man gave me his bar last year though. Ran off with someone he met online." Brandon replied._

 _"You own a bar? I'm definitely coming over for free drinks eventually." Maya joked._

 _"Not happening, Hart. Anyway, how's Matthews? No one harassing her?"_

 _Maya shrugged. "Riley's good. Dated some guy named Charlie for a while though they broke up last year. She does get harassed sometimes just because she's cute, but she doesn't need our protecting anymore. She's grown up a lot since her squirrel days."_

 _"That's good to know," he said with a soft smile. "Anyway, you're looking well. Though I can tell you're not exactly happy."_

 _Maya stiffened, stopping mid sip and staring at Brandon who only quirked a brow and waited for her to respond. She never understood how he was so good at figuring out exactly what was going on with her without her even giving any visual or vocal clues._

 _"What do you…"_

 _And then her voice died in her throat when she glanced momentarily towards the door._

 _Lucas walked in through the doorway of the gym, his hands shoved in his pants pockets, looking around nonchalantly, a bored look on his face. Her heart lurched in her chest, and she could feel her breath shorten. Maya set her drink down on the table before she dropped it, her eyes widening as she stared at him._

 _She hadn't seen him in years. He was still her same Huckleberry. The same Lucas she remembered. Yes, he looked like an adult like every single one of the rest of them, and he was taller and even more handsome, but he still had that slightly tousled boyish hair and she still saw the Lucas she had always remembered._

 _And then Lucas glanced in her direction and met her gaze._

 _Maya felt a jolt of electricity run down her back as they stared at each other. He wasn't smiling and there was something a little dark in his eyes, but Maya still felt a thrill of recognition run through her body as they held each other's gazes._

 _Brandon cleared his throat with a raised brow and Maya quickly looked away and stared at the floor. She could see Lucas approaching her and Brandon out of her peripheral and forced herself to breathe, though she felt like she was going to have a panic attack. She'd wanted to see Lucas, but now that he was here, she didn't know what to say to him._

 _"Friar," Brandon said when Lucas stopped beside them. "Been a while."_

 _Maya kept her eyes on her shoes, though she could feel Lucas' gaze burning her._

 _"It's good to see you, Brandon. How's life?"_

 _She hadn't heard his voice in so long. It sounded deeper than she remembered, and it seemed he had acquired some kind of slight country drawl to it. But he still sounded the same, and she still got the same comfort from hearing it._

 _"It's good when it wants to be. A bitch at other times." Brandon chuckled. "Anyway, I'll see you guys later."_

 _Maya's head snapped up, and she stared at Brandon, panicking a little bit. "Wait, where are you going?"_

 _"To go talk to people who won't make me feel like I'm about to get stuck watching them have eye sex," he muttered, shaking his head as he walked away._

 _They were silent after Brandon left, Maya looking everywhere but at Lucas, her heart racing in her chest as she finally settled on his Adam's apple. She could still feel his eyes on her, but she was almost afraid to look up. She was terrified of what she would see._

 _"Twenty two years of being friends—take a few—and you can't even look at me?" Lucas asked._

 _Maya swallowed hard, inhaling a little unevenly before she finally lifted her gaze and met his. Lucas' expression was carefully guarded, but she could still see the warmth radiating from his sea-foam eyes. And she still felt the fluttering in her stomach when he took a slight step closer to her._

 _"Was that so hard?" he asked, his tone a bit difficult to decipher._

 _Maya tried to smile, but she wasn't sure it reached her eyes._

 _"It's been a long time," Maya said. "I didn't think you would be coming. Texas is a long way from here."_

 _He shrugged nonchalantly. "I had some unfinished business."_

 _"Oh. Well how does it feel to be back?"_

 _"It feels no different than when I was living in Austin." Lucas rose a brow, staring at her hand. "My mom told me you were engaged a few months ago. I guess it really is true."_

 _Maya's face burned with a blush, a little taken aback by his sudden comment. She had been hoping to avoid that conversation for as long as possible._

 _"Yeah." She licked her lips anxiously, feeling guilty. "I'm engaged to Jeremy."_

 _"So you just decided not to tell me."_

 _"I…" She frowned, a little annoyed by how cold he seemed. "Well it's not like you were talking to me, so what did you expect?"_

 _There was something sharp and dangerous glinting in his eyes as he stared down at her. He smirked, a small, nasty thing that Maya felt right between her legs. She took an almost involuntary step back from him, her brows lifting in surprise at the look on his face._

 _"You're right. It doesn't even matter anyway," Lucas muttered._

 _Something was off about his statement, as if he was dismissing her engagement and not taking it seriously. It made the hairs on the back of Maya's neck stand up. She was starting to think that the Lucas she had always remembered honestly wasn't the same. Especially in the way he carried himself. Cocky with a hint of wrath that seemed to be simmering under his skin._

 _"How's vet work?" Maya asked, trying to push the conversation away from her engagement._

 _"It's good. I'm moving back to New York though."_

 _"What?"_

 _"One of my old mentors back when I was volunteering during college is thinking about retiring from his clinic in about five years, and he wants to make me partner so he can pass it on to me in the future."_

 _"Well congrats. It's always been your dream to have your own clinic, hasn't it? I'm happy for you." Maya said, wondering if she was happier about the fact that he had a chance to fulfill his dreams or about the fact that he was coming back to live in New York. "So… how's the love life?"_

 _"There is none," he said sharply. "I wasn't interested in entering any longterm relationships."_

 _Maya's brows furrowed. "That's uh… haven't you gotten tired of that lifestyle? Is that really how you want to spend your life?"_

 _He rose a brow. "Were you hoping I would sit around forever never being with anyone?"_

 _Maya frowned in annoyance. She got that he wasn't particularly pleased with her, but did he have to be such a dick about it? He was irritating her with his coldness and his sarcastic responses. What the hell was his deal anyway?_

 _"No. I was merely wondering if you'd ever want to find the love of your life one day so you can be happy. Excuse me for being concerned about the happiness of an old friend."_

 _"Happy like you apparently?" Lucas scoffed, eyeing her in amusement. "Just so you know, I have found her."_

 _There was a shrewd, treacherous gleam in his eyes, and Maya bristled as soon as she saw it because no matter how much distance had been between them since they stopped talking, she still could easily recognize Lucas' moods and everything he was feeling and about to say with just a glance. And she knew as soon as she saw it that whatever he was about to say was going to affect her. Maya tried to ignore the pain she felt at the thought of Lucas having possibly already found the person he would decide to spend his life with._

 _"Oh. Y-you found her."_

 _"Yeah. But she's taken."_

 _And Maya froze entirely, her eyes widening when Lucas' gaze softened as he stared down at her. There was heat in his gaze, a trace of desire lingering in his irises as he stepped closer to her._

 _"What?" She breathed out, feeling the room suddenly start to grow hot. "What do you—"_

 _"I'm still in love with you, Maya."_

 _Her breath hitched in her chest, her heart pounding with reckless abandon as she shook her head._

 _"No you're not."_

 _"Yes I am. That's the only reason I came to this thing. To tell you before you got married and made the biggest mistake of your life. And I know the only reason you came here was to see me."_

 _"No." Maya was_ furious. _"No! You asshole, shut the fuck up!"_

 _Maya brushed past him angrily and stomped out of the gym, running a hand through her hair and trying to tell herself she didn't hear him say that. She marched to the front of the school, ignoring Lucas who was calling her name. She kept right on ignoring him until they were near the principal's office, away from the gym and any and all festivities._

 _"Maya, there's no need to run." Lucas said with smug smirk on his face, his hands in his pocket as he stared at the trophy cases._

 _"You are an_ asshole!" _Maya spun around, walking right back to him and furiously jabbing his chest with her finger. "I'm finally happy. I've finally moved on from whatever clusterfuck our relationship had been and you tell me this shit when I'm already with someone else about to get married?"_

 _"I don't care," he muttered darkly, wrapping his hand around her wrist and stopping her. Her eyes widened in shock at the complete lack of interest in his eyes. "You don't get to be happy with anyone else, Maya. I don't care if I'm being selfish. I felt_ betrayed _by you all these years."_

 _"Lucas stop." Maya's voice broke, and she could feel her eyes stinging with tears. Not for herself, but for the pain she saw swirling in Lucas' irises. She could see just how much she'd hurt him. "Don't do this. Please don't do this when I'm finally moving on."_

 _"That's too bad,_ Shortstack. _Did I get a chance to move on after you? No. You used me as your fuck buddy just so you could get yourself off and then dumped me while I got worse and worse. You used me Maya. Your supposed best friend."_

 _"Lucas…" Her lower lip quivered the slightest bit._

 _"You fucked me up. And I've known it for years! But I still love you." He growled through grit teeth. "Look at me. I'm fucking pathetic! Pining over you for years and fucking woman after woman after woman hoping I could forget about you but nothing worked! Even now! I see you and the only thing I can think about is how much I know we belong together."_

 _"Lucas. We're over!" Maya spat. "We were never going to last and you know it! So just stop, okay?!"_

 _Lucas' jaw clenched, and he fell silent, watching her with narrowed eyes as their chests heaved with the heavy breaths they were taking._

 _"God Maya…"_

 _Then he smiled, slipping an arm around her waist and holding her flush against him. Maya gasped, staring up at him, her body igniting—burning—with heat from his gaze. Their proximity was making her lightheaded, reminding her of things she had hoped she'd long ago buried down. How it had felt being in his arms. How it felt when he kissed her, his lips caressing her skin. How only he could make her body feel this way. How much she wanted him._

 _Even now._

 _He gently stroked her cheek, chuckling softly as if he knew exactly what was going through her mind._

 _"You're so wrong." Lucas murmured softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. An involuntary shiver ran down her back when a wave of his scent drifted over her. "We're not over. We never were. And it's only a matter of time before you come back to me."_

 _Maya's eyes widened when his gaze momentarily dropped down to what little space was between them before he brought it back to hers._

 _"You know why?"_

 _She couldn't respond, mesmerized by his heady gaze._

 _"Because you're still wearing my locket. I don't know why I ever questioned what I mean to you. You're wearing my locket, and you're about to get married. Of course you're still in love with me."_

 _Her eyes narrowed. "It's a symbol of our friend—"_

 _"You know damn well I gave you that locket because I was in love with you." Lucas cut her off with a raised brow. "And you know that it symbolizes the fact that we're in love with each other."_

 _Maya planted her hands on his chest and roughly pushed away from him, trying to keep her breathing even. He let go of her and stepped back, an infuriating little smirk on his lips as if he wasn't taking her seriously._

 _"I don't love you like that anymore." She snarled._

 _"That's fine." Lucas replied evenly, though she saw his eyes flash briefly in irritation. "Toss the locket in the trash then. Right now. And I'll believe you."_

 _Gritting her teeth, Maya pulled it up over her head and off and walked over to a trash bin in the hallway. Her fist was shaking as she held the locket over the opening, her breathing harsh as she tried to tell herself to drop it. As she tried to force herself to let go and end this thing once and for all._

 _"Drop it, Maya. And I'll leave you alone for good. I'll get out of your life, and you can get married and forget all about me. And I'll find someone else and forget all about you."_

 _But she couldn't._

 _She tried so hard to open her hand, but she just couldn't. She didn't want to._

 _She didn't want to let go of Lucas. And she didn't want him to forget about her._

 _With a slight whimper, she retracted her hand, her shoulders slumped as she took in a shuddering breath, staring at the locket as her eyes welled with tears._

 _"As I thought." Lucas said. "You're just as in love with me as I am with you."_

 _"You're horrible." Maya growled._

 _"I'm horrible? At least I'm being honest. You've been leading your fiancé on for years. You probably haven't told him a thing about what relationship we_ actually _have, have you? And I bet you haven't even told him about me at all."_

 _Maya didn't respond, sniffling as she put her locket back on though she knew Lucas was right. Jeremy didn't even know Lucas existed in the first place._

 _"You and I both know our story isn't over. Your silence is all the answer I need. All you had to do was throw out a locket, Maya. All you had to do was tell me you're engaged months ago and throw out your locket. But you didn't. So why can't you toss the locket? Ask yourself that question."_

 _She glared at him, on the verge of tears, and Lucas sighed, running a hand through his hair in exasperation._

 _"Look, I'm sorry I was an ass to you. But it had to be done. You're settling. And we both deserve to be happy, Maya." Lucas said quietly. For the first time since she'd seen him that night, she finally caught a glimpse of the Lucas she'd always known. And it made her heart start thumping painfully hard in her chest. "And I wish you would stop lying to yourself long enough to think about who you would be happy with."_

 _Lucas smiled softly and turned around, walking out of the school without another word. And Maya could do nothing but stare after him, her heart aching for him, desperately wanting him to come back. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to be with him so badly it hurt._

 _Maya's grip on the locket tightened as her body shook in fright, knowing he was right._

 _Knowing exactly why she couldn't get rid of the locket._

* * *

"That's what happened to make you guys like that?" Riley's eyes were wide. "It all makes sense now. When Lucas moved back to New York and his mom threw him a surprise welcome back party, you were avoiding him the entire night. I never realized you guys were in a situation."

"I was scared Riley. I wanted him. So much it was frightening me, and he knew it. But he gave me my space so I could figure it out."

Riley frowned. "Lucas was still an asshole to you back then."

"He really was. But I needed that. I had deluded myself into thinking I was over him. Can you imagine if he had come back later when I was already married and we reunited? What do you think probably would have happened?"

Riley nodded, understanding the gist of what Maya was saying.

"By the way, was there ever something going on between you and Brandon? I thought it was strange that he'd asked about you when you hadn't been in contact for years."

"If there was, I wouldn't know." Riley shrugged, a nostalgic look on her face as she stared out at the distance. "I mean, I thought maybe he liked me back in high school. He kept poking fun at me for being a nerd, but he was always sweet to me. Nothing ever happened, but I'm fine with it because he helped me step out of my comfort zone, and he matters to me in my heart. Whether as a friend or more, I don't think I'll ever know, but what counts to me is how important he is to who I've grown up to be."

Maya smiled. "Well. If you ever feel like you want to catch up, I do have his number, you know?"

"You do? Oh." Riley's brows lifted in surprise, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Uh… well anyway, enough about me. What happened after the reunion?"

"What do you think? I questioned everything. Everything I thought I knew. Everything I thought I was ready for. All a lie because I couldn't get Lucas' words out of my head. I had to make a choice for myself. But I didn't try to make it fast enough. And my relationship suffered…"

* * *

 _"Maya." Jeremy said, trying to call her attention._

 _She sat on their kitchen stool, her hand wrapped around the heart of her locket, staring out the window at the rain, completely lost in her own thoughts. Her mind was jumbled, consumed by her impromptu meeting with Lucas. Consumed by the longing looks he'd kept giving her the entire time at his welcome party. Consumed by the fact that he lived only a few blocks from her, near his clinic and anytime she wanted to, she could easily go visit his new place and catch up as old friends._

 _But she knew damn well what going to his place would mean. And what would happen if she even dared step foot through his door. She knew he was waiting for her. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to go back._

 _She was scared._

 _"Maya. Can you please answer me for once?" Jeremy walked around the kitchen island, beside Maya, a frown on his face. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes. And it's not just today. You've been acting distant ever since I went on that business trip to Boston a while ago. And I'm not trying to be one of those annoying horny guys, but honestly, we haven't had sex since you went to your high school reunion. Every time I want to spend time with you, you're never in the mood. I came back from Boston and thought you would want to make up for lost time, but instead…"_

 _Maya turned to him with an annoyed raised brow. "I just have a lot on my plate right now."_

 _"Well do you want to talk about it?"_

 _"Not really." Maya changed the subject. "Anyway, what were trying to get my attention about?"_

 _He sighed in exasperation. "That golden locket I bought you last week. What happened to it?"_

 _"Oh. I returned it. I don't need it."_

 _"But the one you've been wearing since I met you is old and rusted and all the diamonds have fallen off. Don't you think it's time to replace it?"_

 _"So what if it's old?" Maya said, averting her gaze, feeling guilty. "I don't want a new one."_

 _"So I was right to assume in my mind that the locket is what's important, not what's inside." Jeremy growled._

 _"That's because my best friend gave it to me. And there's nothing inside but a picture of me and my best friend."_

 _"You know what? I've had it with your aversions and lies. I put up with this secret locket for years and waited to see if you'd ever be honest with me, but you're still trying to hide something!" Jeremy's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You keep telling me it's from your 'best friend' every single time I ask you about the locket! I've seen Riley, you know? She's been over for dinner multiple times now. So why is she not in the locket? Who is that boy in your locket?"_

 _Maya snapped her gaze to his angrily. "You fucking looked in my locket?! How dare you! I told you it was my personal business!"_

 _"Cut the bullshit, Maya! You don't have a right to act indignant when you've been lying to me the whole time. Who the hell is that guy in the locket, and why did you hide what was inside from me?"_

 _Maya didn't say a word, her fists clenched as she glowered at Jeremy._

 _He scoffed in disgust, running a hand through his hair. "Can I even trust you anymore?"_

 _"Yes! How could you say that?"_

 _"Because you've been keeping secrets the whole time and acting distant! We were fine before your reunion. But now it's like you can't stand to look at me or something. Is it wrong for me to think you're sneaking around with someone else behind my back?"_

 _"I was never unfaithful to you, you asshole."_

 _"Then can you please just tell me the fucking truth?! For once in our goddamned relationship, can you just tell me what the deal is with that fucking locket?!"_

 _Silence reigned between them as Maya's throat tightened dangerously. She chewed on her lower lip as she stared at him. Jeremy was right. She had kept secrets the entire time. Never told him about Lucas. Never told him about the locket. She owed him at least that much since she couldn't get Lucas out of her mind._

 _"Fine. You want to know about the locket. I'll tell you." Maya let out a small, shaky breath. "I didn't lie when I told you it was from my best friend. That guy in the locket_ is _my best friend. Or was. Or something. I don't know what we are anymore. But he was my best friend when we were young. And we were together for a few years before we broke up. When I met you, we'd only stopped sleeping with each other for a year."_

 _"And you still love him." Jeremy said, a statement, not a question._

 _"I… I don't know."_

 _"Of course you still love him! Why the hell else would you keep wearing the locket? It's a symbol of your relationship, which you still don't want to give up."_

 _"Jeremy—"_

 _"Where does he live?"_

 _"That's not important."_

 _"Where does he live? I want to know. I want to know if you can see him regularly."_

 _"Jeremy!" Maya placed her hand on his arm, trying to plead with him. "I would never cheat on you if that's what you're trying to—"_

 _"Where. Does. He. Live." Jeremy wrenched his arm from her grasp, taking a step back from her and raising a brow._

 _Maya sniffled, feeling her eyes sting with tears as they pooled on her lower eyelashes._

 _"He moved back to New York last week."_

 _"Let me guess, the party you went to that you said was a baby shower for a friend so I wouldn't come was actually his welcome party. And you saw him at your reunion, didn't you? That's why you've been distant." Maya nodded, and Jeremy's gaze turned angry. "Did you sleep with him?"_

 _"No! God no! Jeremy, how could you think that?!"_

 _"Well you haven't given me much reason not to suspect something there! You clearly are still in love with this guy, and you won't let go of that locket! And now he's in New York, and you can easily see him whenever the hell you want to," he spat. "What the hell else am I supposed to think? I don't trust you anymore! How can I know something hadn't been going on this entire time we've been together?! You're_ clearly _adept at keeping secrets."_

 _"Trust me because I love you!" Maya started sobbing, her vision blurring with tears. "I would never cheat on you. I decided to end things years ago with him because I want to move on!"_

 _"No you don't."_

 _"Don't tell me how I feel!"_

 _"You don't even know how you feel!" he barked._

 _Maya angrily swiped the tears from her eyes. "Yes I do!"_

 _They fell silent once again, Jeremy closing his eyes momentarily._

 _"Maya." Jeremy ran a hand through his hair, his eyes red rimmed when he opened them. "I'm happy with you. I really, truly am. Always happy. So, so happy. And we could have had a future together."_

 _"Jeremy don't." Maya pleaded. "Please."_

 _"And we still can have a future together." He stared at her locket, disdain on his face. "But not as long as this guy is still in the picture."_

 _"Don't do this."_

 _"You have to choose, Maya. You can either let him and that locket go so we can finally be together for real. Or we're done. So choose."_

 _Maya started crying harder, her heart breaking because she knew she'd destroyed their relationship. She'd done this by keeping secrets. She'd caused Jeremy pain, she'd caused Lucas pain, and she'd caused herself pain, all because she couldn't stop lying to herself. She stared down at her locket, sniffling shakily._

 _He was right._

 _They couldn't be happy together as long as she kept holding on to Lucas._

 _"Jeremy, I'm so happy with you too. You're amazing. And I love you. And you deserve everything you want and more. And I know we'll both be happy."_

 _Maya pulled off her ring, her eyes welling with a fresh batch of tears as she set it on the counter between them._

 _"…Just not together."_

 _Jeremy's brows rose in shock. For a long while, he just stared at the ring, disbelief and grief on his features. He took a deep breath, glancing up at Maya and then took the ring with a trembling hand._

 _"Wow… So you uh…" He cleared his throat then inhaled shakily. "You really picked him. I… I didn't expect that."_

 _Maya couldn't say anything, sniffling and holding her lower lip between her teeth to try to control its quivering. She didn't know what to say._

 _Jeremy let out a long breath and turned around. He walked to the couch and picked up his coat and umbrella before heading towards the door._

 _"Jeremy…"_

 _"I uh… I'll come back tomorrow and get my stuff out of your place. Or you know sometime this week. I just…"_

 _"You need to be away from me."_

 _He nodded, clearing his throat again, a tear trickling down his cheek as he stared at her. It broke Maya's heart to see him looking so damaged, so hurt. All because of her._

 _"Goodbye Jeremy." Maya said, her voice breaking._

 _"Bye Maya."_

* * *

"Two years have passed since then, and it still hurts to think about." Maya wiped away a lone tear with a soft chuckle. "We were together for almost six years, and the whole time, I was still hoping for Lucas to come back so I could run back to him. I really hurt Jeremy. And I can't forgive myself for doing that. I broke his heart. The second guy to get a heart broken because of my lies and inability to be honest with myself."

"Maya…" Riley said, wrapping Maya in her arms again. "That sounds painful."

"It was, but I'm happy that I made that choice. It was about time I stopped lying to myself and hurting others. But at least Jeremy got his happy ending. He met a really nice girl named Annie. He invited me to their wedding last year, but I didn't go. I didn't think it was a good idea."

"And Lucas?" Riley asked with trepidation. "What did you do about that situation?"

Maya stared out into the distance, a frown on her face.

"I told him the truth."

* * *

 _It took Maya only a few hours, after staring at the apartment door long after Jeremy had left, to figure out what she had to do._

 _Enough was enough._

 _Maya didn't think twice. She snatched her locket off of her neck and left her apartment, not giving a damn that she was wearing house slippers or that it was almost freezing outside or that it was pouring rain and soaking her to the bone._

 _She ran down the sidewalks through the rain, not thinking, just running as hard as she could, her locket clutched in her clenched fist and hair plastered to her head. She ran right to Lucas' complex, rage buzzing through her mind. Didn't stop running until she was in front of his apartment door. She reared her fist back and pounded loudly on the door as she fought to catch her breath. She was crying, the difference between the tears or the rain on her face impossible to tell. But none of that mattered right now._

 _"Open up Lucas!" she barked, banging harder on the door. "I know you're home!"_

 _Her hand was numb by the time she finally heard the locks unlatch, and Lucas swung open his door, scowling in annoyance. When he saw her, his brows unfurrowed in concern, stunned by her sudden appearance._

 _"Maya, you're drenched."_

 _"Shut up!"_

 _She brushed right past Lucas and stormed into his apartment, feeling nothing but pure fury towards him. Lucas shut his door and turned around to face her, a brow raised in mild irritation._

 _"Mind telling me what this unpleasant meeting is about?"_

 _"You know damn well what this is about!" Maya screamed through a sob, hurling the locket at him with everything she had._

 _He caught it in the air before it could hit him and stared at it, eyes narrowed._

 _"The locket."_

 _"I'm done with you, you asshole! You ruined me! You infected my mind! You infected Jeremy's mind and you ruined our engagement! It's over thanks to you and your fucking mouth! I hate you so much! Why can't I get your stupid face out of my mind? Why can't I stop thinking about you?! I just don't want to think about you anymore! I want to be over you but you won't let me!"_

 _She breathed heavily, taking in large gulps of air as she tried to catch her breath. Lucas watched her patiently, an indecipherable expression on his face as Maya angrily swiped at the tears in her eyes._

 _"Well_ _congratu_ -fucking- _lations_ , _you dick! You succeeded! I can't move on because you're the only fucking thing on my mind! Are you happy now?" she yelled._

 _Her words echoed slightly through the apartment when she stopped talking, blinking up at him, her heart pounding recklessly in her chest._

 _"Are you done?" Lucas asked calmly, tossing the locket onto his couch as he walked over to her._

 _Maya stared up at him when he stopped in front of her, her lower lip quivering the slightest bit._

 _"No."_

 _She reached up and fisted the collar of his shirt, yanking him down sharply and crushing her lips to his. He kissed her back fervently, his hands sliding down her sides and gripping her hips as he pulled her closer to him. She moaned into his mouth as his hands gripped her ass, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and clawing her fingers into his hair._

 _She was dazed and breathless when he backed her into the wall, pinning her against it with his body as his hands roamed under her dress, dancing across her overheated skin. Maya roughly tugged open the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off of his shoulders as he grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling it over her head and throwing it somewhere behind him. Their lips met again, urgently, his tongue sliding between her lips, twining with hers sensually as she molded herself to him. She grew weak in the knees, clutching him, clinging desperately to him to stay upright._

 _Her breath caught as he gripped her waist, yanking her up and pressing her against the wall. Maya wrapped her legs around him, her breath catching when he ground his arousal against her, the friction making Lucas release a low groan. She draped arms around him, lost to the intoxicating sensation, his mouth hot against her neck, an uncontrollable electricity slicing through her body as she whimpered breathlessly._

 _She'd been without Lucas for too long. Too many years of yearning for him._

 _All she could feel was an insane fire that burned her as he caressed her. As he sucked on her neck, his fingers working her until she was a trembling mess and gasping for breath. As she tugged away their last obstruction and he buried himself inside her._

 _Maya was pretty sure she screamed in euphoria, unrestrained, crying out into his shoulder, but there was a ringing in her ears and she couldn't hear anything except for Lucas' voice soft in her ear and his heavy, laboured breathing as they very quickly approached an earth-shattering release._

 _And Maya knew she'd never be able to ever back away from him again._

* * *

"So you guys… humped all night?"

"You still can't say sex, Riley?"

Riley checked her phone, before setting it in her bag. "It's a dirty word."

"You're twenty-nine."

"Still."

Maya chuckled. And then her face fell as she remembered what she had seen.

"And that was that. You know the rest Riley. We decided to stop acting like idiots. Got together for good. We were strong for a year. Or I thought we were until he started being distant. I should have known it was too good to be true. We can never have a happy ending together, can we?"

"Maya… that's not true. You can have a happy ending." Riley held her tighter. "I don't believe he would do that to you."

"But it's true, isn't it? He was cheating. You and I both saw it…"

"I'm so sorry, Maya."

And Maya broke down, sobbing heavily and gripping Riley's sweater as she cried into her shoulder.

"If I had known this was how things would end, I would have _never_ befriended him when we were children. This pain isn't worth it. All the struggles we went through, just to end like that."

"But Maya, without Lucas, you wouldn't have discovered parts of yourself you didn't know. He was your rock when you absolutely needed him. You can't forget that."

"I want to. It hurts Riley… It hurts so fucking bad." Maya wailed.

"There, there, Peaches. It's okay." Riley cooed softly, rocking Maya gently. "You know what, it's getting dark. Here, let's go back to my place, okay? We don't have to go back to your place right now. We can relax and watch movies like we always do, okay?"

"I'm going to get this cry out and then when I'm done, we're going to find Lucas, and I'm going to break his fucking neck." Maya growled. "If he thinks he's safe, he has another think coming."

Riley chuckled nervously, wrapping an arm around Maya's shoulders as they walked through the park. She cut them across a small field overlooking the bay and over one of the bridges above a manmade pond.

"Riley, where the fuck are we going? Your apartment's the other way."

"It is?" Riley asked in confusion.

Maya gave her a weird look.

But before she could respond, Riley took them past the bridge and towards the wooden gazebo in the center of the park. To her surprise, the gravel path was lit with mini candles on each side, illuminating the walkway leading to the establishment. There were twinkling lights wrapped around the roof and all the support beams and railings. It was beautiful, shining bright like stars against the darkening sky.

And standing in the center of the gazebo was Lucas, smiling as he waited for her.

"Riley… what the fuck is going on?"

"I'm escorting you!" she exclaimed excitedly, linking her arm with Maya's as they walked through the gravel pathway. When they got to the stairs, Riley let go of her, gesturing to the stairs dramatically with a bow. "Your boyfriend awaits."

Maya climbed the steps into the gazebo, glaring at Lucas.

"Ex-boyfriend in a few minutes probably…" Maya growled. "You have a lot of nerve showing your face when I'm two seconds from breaking your body. You think I don't know what you've been up to. Frequent phone calls, distancing yourself, and now the bitch at the café. You must have a death wish deciding to cheat on me."

"Wait!" Lucas said quickly, putting his hands up placatingly as she took a menacing step closer to him. "I know you saw me with someone. And I know what you're thinking is pretty bad, but I promise it's not what you think. Just trust me."

Her eyes narrowed. She wanted to bludgeon him with her heel right now, but there was something sincere and earnest in his gaze that made her pause. She couldn't detect any guilt in his eyes. Any hint of treachery whatsoever. She sighed in exasperation, rolling her eyes.

"Then what was it?" Maya huffed. "And careful, you're already treading on thin ice."

Lucas ran a hand through his hair, looking relieved.

"Look, I know I've been acting strange these past few weeks, but it's because part of me was terrified. I needed to sort out my feelings and get more courage so I was calling a lot of people trying to get other opinions."

"Terrified of what?" Maya asked impatiently, wishing he would stop beating around the bush.

"We've had a long journey, Maya. From being best friends to losing it all to becoming a couple to losing it all again to being some kind of friends with benefits to losing it all a third time. And I almost lost you for good before we finally fixed the wreck we'd made. Talk about a fucking mess."

Maya chuckled slightly, unable to help the smile that came to her face at the mention of their screwed up relationship.

"But through it all, even when we weren't talking, even when we weren't together, I've always been sure of two things. That I love you, and that I only want to be with you and no one else." Lucas reached forward and took her hands in his. "I asked Riley to bring you here because you're the love of my life. And it's about time I made things official. For good."

Maya inhaled sharply as Lucas got down on one knee, gazing up at her lovingly though he looked a little nervous.

"You are my whole world. You're everything to me. I can't even begin to imagine ever living my life without you again. Whether you're near or far, the only thing that is ever on my mind is you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more than you even know."

Maya's eyes welled with tears and she sniffled, her heart racing in her chest as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, opening it to a gorgeous sapphire on a gold band in between two pear shaped cuts of diamond, sparkling when the lights hit them.

"Maya Penelope Hart. I never want us to lose what we have. Will you forever be my wife?" Lucas said with a shit-eating grin. "I want to have my lovely Shortstack right next to me years from now. Forever and always."

Maya chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the ring.

Lucas wanted to marry her.

Lucas, her best friend. Lucas, the only guy she ever really loved. Lucas, the only guy who had the ability to truly hurt her. Lucas, the only guy who could cause her to suffer immeasurable pain.

They'd already been through so many difficulties just to get where they were. Their relationship track record wasn't very pleasant, and Maya knew damn well that if they took the plunge, there was a chance that either of them could wreck everything again.

And she was scared.

She wanted to marry him, she wanted to fulfill her little fantasies since she was young that he was her husband, but the more serious they were in their relationship, the worse the possible fallout if it happened. And she knew if they screwed this marriage thing up, they wouldn't be able to come back from it. She was certain about this. If they ruined themselves after this, there would be no more Lucas and Maya, not even as friends.

Maya lifted her gaze to Lucas, conflicted and feeling anxious about the whole thing. But as her eyes met his, expectant and hopeful, his smile infectious, she forgot her fears. She didn't feel scared.

Because she knew he loved her. And she knew she loved him.

And even if they'd been broken several times, they always managed to come back to each other.

They would be okay.

Maya grinned, laughing through a sniffle.

"God you're stupid…" Maya said softly, tears trailing down her cheeks. "My darling Hopalong. I picture me being in jail years from now. But yes. I'll be your wife."

"You've just made me the happiest man on earth." Lucas replied, taking her finger and sliding on the ring.

And Maya broke down, sobbing into her hands as Lucas stood up and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as he buried his face into her hair. She clung to him, her body wracked with her sobs as she gripped his shirt in her fists. She was unbelievably happy, never having experienced such elation in her life before.

"Did you know, Riley?" Maya asked, laughing through her tears. "Did you know he was going to propose?"

"Yeah. Lucas told me about his plans for the proposal, and I was supposed to keep you occupied until he had finished setting everything up. We made sure you 'caught' him across the park because I had a feeling you would run back in there where I was to keep you busy until it was time."

"How did you not blurt? You are _terrible_ at keeping secrets."

"I've gotten much better over the years." Riley giggled. "Also, just so you know, Lucas hasn't cheated on you. I asked my Yale friend Smackle to do me a solid, and she didn't mind pretending to be the other woman since you'd never seen her before and wouldn't get suspicious of trickery. I think it worked a little too well. I didn't know you would get that vulnerable. I'm sorry."

"I can't believe you. Both of you suck." Maya slid her arms around Lucas, pouting as he laughed and kissed her forehead.

"I know," Riley said, walking back down the pathway away from them. "Anyway, congratulations Maya. I'll leave you guys to have your alone time. Call me when you're done… humping."

Maya gazed up at Lucas, her heart dancing in her chest as they swayed gently side by side.

"You made me think you were cheating on me."

"I had to. It was the only way to divert your attention. You would have known what I was planning, and I wouldn't have been able to surprise you with this unless we distracted your mind with something else."

"And that's the idea you came up with? I cried all afternoon no thanks to you."

"I know." Lucas murmured, moving a strand of hair out of her face. "I didn't mean to cause you so much pain. I'm sorry."

"You're terrible …" Maya sniffled, resting her chin on his chest and smiling up at him. "What happened to the sweet, sensitive, dorky Lucas who cried all the time? Bring him back. Not this hooligan asshole."

"It was definitely worth it to see you so surprised though." Lucas cradled her cheek. "I never thought I would actually see the day when my dream of marrying my best friend came true…"

"That was my dream too."

"And I finally succeeded in making you a Friar. It only took twenty-four years."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Huckleberry. You need to seal the deal first."

"And how would I go about doing that?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "If our friendship promises required a kiss to seal the deal, what does this require? Getting you pregnant, Shortstack?"

Maya laughed. "I think we should keep it at sealing it with a kiss."

"Alright." His expression grew serious. "Maya, I love you. I always have. And I always will. Even if you grow to hate me in the future, I'll still love you."

"I love you too, Lucas. No matter where we are in the future, I'll always love you too."

Lucas leaned down and kissed her, and Maya's eyes watered once again, tears tumbling down her cheeks from how tender and sweet the kiss was. She curled her arms around his neck, and he hoisted her up, spinning her around in his arms as she laughed and laughed.

Not all relationships ended with happy endings.

But theirs sure as hell did.


End file.
